Maria Sharapova’s Out of View Panties

All the most crucial coverage from Wimbledon this year has been about Maria Sharapova’s shorts. She decided to ditch the skirts, meaning that the tabloids haven’t been able to publish pictures of her undies – probably for the first time since she started playing the tournament.

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And where’s the fun in that? Women’s tennis isn’t about rallies, serves and volleys – it’s about soft porn!

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What goes around comes around: 1949 – 2008

So here’s a little something for those misty-eyed with nostalgia for the days when women tennis player’s briefs really were brief, and Martina Hingis’ panties reined supreme, as the finest sight in the women’s game.

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I don’t know who put this montage together, but they clearly deserve some kind of award for services to pervery.

If you’re missing your annual dose of the leggy Russian lovely’s lingerie however, hope is at hand.

She’s already been knocked out of the tournament by Alla Kudryavtseva, who is ranked No.154 in the world and is described as “not one of the glamour girls of tennis”. She said that Sharapova’s status as a fashion icon had got under her skin.

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How the down-to-earth daughter of a wrestler bristled when she set eyes on the pampered golden girl with the fashionable gear on the other side of the net:

“Taking down Sharapova is a big, big deal for me. It’s very pleasant to beat Maria. I don’t like her outfit. I don’t like the way it looks, and I don’t like all that fashion stuff. Can I put it this way? It was one of my motivations to beat her.”

“Taking down” – an interesting choice of words. Does she mean:

  • beating her at tennis
  • humiliating her by “taking her down” a peg or two
  • or “taking down” those irksome shorts and applying a much needed spanking to her bare bottom!
  • a combination of all three!

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So in the event, the shorts weren’t exactly lucky shorts were they?

That’s why I expect Maria Sharapova’s panties to be back on full view in all their headline grabbing glory next year – with more telescopic lenses than ever trained on her pert athletic buttocks as her skirt flips up each time she serves.

Alternatively, she could show some contrition for her hubris by walking onto centre court before her first game and adopting the same pose as Jelena Jankovich here.

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Then the photographers could all get their picture, and the game could begin.

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Some more tennis related goodies:

One for lovers of regulation green knickers, I spotted this picture on the Graham Norton chat show last week, and I’ve tracked it down on the net. It dates from 1994, and shows Martina Navratilova apparently lusting after a ball girl’s bottom. It would have made a great addition to my Watch the Booty post.

And this is one of the better attempts to recreate the iconic Athena tennis-girl poster courtesy of Zoo magazine. The model is Charlotte Mckenna.

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