A recent TV documentary called The Many Faces of Dick Emery prompted me to revise this post. It showed the British TV comedian talking about his one and only film vehicle which made a big impression on me growing up. It was also nice to see a modern day comedian, David Baddiel, coming out as an unlikely fan of the movie.
These pictures show a scene from the obscure low budget 1972 British comedy Ooh You Are Awful starring Dick Emery. It takes place in a photo-booth where the lovely Cheryl Kennedy has been duped into photographing her own bottom!
Like the moon in the night sky, Cheryl’s beautifully rounded behind is highlighted against the dark background by the light streaming through the parted curtain. We can clearly see a tattoo with letters and numbers written inside a heart on one of her cheeks.
What a perfect opportunity for a spanking!
Dick eagerly waits for the photos to drop.
In his TV series, he rarely wasted an opportunity to pat or tap a lady’s bottom. This was the 1970s after all.
But, in fact, Cheryl’s behind was in even more imminent peril…in the shape of the fearsome underworld gang leader and Cheryl’s screen brother… Sid Sabbath!
….who is NOT best pleased to discover his little sister baring all in a photo booth at a London railway station!
He shouts at an over-the shoulder-looking Cheryl: “What would our mum say if she could see you now?”
Now, if you were a young actress in the early 1970s, and you had to bare your bottom for this particular scene, who would be the last person you would want to be playing Sid Sabbath?
Quite possibly, one Derren Nesbitt who was fined for spanking his actress wife, Anne Aubrey, with a leather thong!
The film was a vehicle for the comic talents of Emery who stars as a London conman who trusts his partner Reggie to stash some loot in a Swiss bank. When Reggie is killed, he discovers that he recorded the combination number of the safety deposit box by having it tattooed on the behinds of four lovely ladies – each one having part of the code within a heart.
A quest ensues. Yes, that’s a quest to get a close-up look at four women’s bare bottoms!
Dick is forced to don a number of cunning disguises to get close enough for a peek at his attractive quarries. A series of cartoon-style capers ensue in which he is often amusingly thwarted at the last minute.
The ladies featured are:
A railway station announcer (Cheryl Kennedy) who is told that she has inherited a large sum of money, but must first prove her identity via the tattoo.
A bride on her wedding day (Julie Crosthwaite), who is exposed before all her guests.
A policewoman (Anna Gilchrist) who wears brief shorts to teach a self-defence class in the gym.
The daughter of a rich aristocrat (Lisa Goddard), who is spied upon as she uses an electric slimming machine (But he can’t read the code number with his binoculars because her bottom is wobbling too fast!). Emery impersonates an aging butler to get close to her spectacular country seat!
This must be one of the most butt-focussed films ever made, full of fanny humor but sadly no actual spanking.
But according to this comment on the IMDb website, there might still be some hope:
“It is actually a very clever and original plot. It would be ideal for a remake by Austin Powers.”
Now there’s a thought. And surely, as Mike Myers character would say, this time one of the four tattooed ladies will be “heading the right way for a smacked bottom!”
Just like the housewife in this bonus clip from another short film that Dick Emery made called The Milkman.