The Spank Statement Super Deluxe Bumper 2008 Awards Special!
Thanks to everyone who voted in the end of year poll which posed the question “Which Celebrity Did You Most Want To Spank in 2008?” 281 votes were cast in total. Here are those results you’ve been waiting for.
20 Peaches Geldoff (UK): 1 vote 1%
Whadaya mean you don’t know who she is? She’s got a famous dad and…er…that’s about it I suppose. Oh no wait a minute, this year she started publishing her own style magazine called Disappear Here. Which is nearly what happened to her votes! On the plus side you could say that Peaches got the wooden spoon which she should have had a long time ago. Oh and by the way, the first issue of Disappear Here had a feature on designer spanking paddles.
The supermodel has been one of the top contenders in vanilla hot-lists this year. Her three supporters may be disappointed with her showing here, so to cheer them up a bit this is a picture of her looking as if she’s being spanked.
18= Dita Von Teese (US): 3 votes 1%
I thought it was a good idea to include someone in the poll who actually is a bit kinky and well into her spanking. In the year that Betty Page died, one of her modern day heirs certainly deserves our support. Nice to see that at least three of you agreed.
Dita was unavailable for comment
17 Misty May-Treanor (US) 4 votes 1%
In Olympic year, beach volleyball gold medalist Misty May-Treanor’s bottom surely had more media exposure than any of the other contenders in the poll. This couldn’t save her from finishing outside the medal positions on this occasion however. In one of the more bizarre spanking news stories of 2008, MMT was actually spanked during the Olympics…by President Bush!!
15= Olga Kurylenko (Ukr) 5 votes 2%
The Bond actress was a new name to dream of spanking in 2008. In her early movies she flirted with a bit of bondage and whipping. A Quantum of Solace brought her charms to a wider audience but took a panning from the critics. 5 of you thought that OK was more than ok and that Daniel Craig should have taken her OTK!
15= Kristen Stewart (US) 5 votes 2%
“It’s probably wishful thinking, but has anyone ever seen a more rude, aloof, surly teen than the Twilight star? She makes no effort at all to hide her disdain for having to do interviews. See her on the Today Show and David Letterman – talk about needing an attitude adjustment.” (An anonymous comment on the Spanking Facts and Research chat forum.)
Ice Queen Alert: Attitude Adjustment Required
13= Mischa Barton (US) 6 votes 2%
The former OC actress probably didn’t do her chances any harm when she bared her bottom whilst playing Ethel-Ann in Closing The Ring. This was voted No 1 Nude Movie Scene of the Year in another online poll. The Barton butt is certainly cute, but only your 13th most spankable. According to Mischa herself, we have director Richard Attenborough to thank for the rare behind shot: “I don’t mind nudity. I just don’t do it that often. Well, you do see me topless in Closing the Ring. But I would never do full body. Come to think of it, I did let Richard Attenborough get a brief behind shot in Closing the Ring. But that was it.” See “it” here
13= Carla Bruni (Italy) 6 votes 2%
I was pleased that one of my wild card entries – the wife of French president Nikolas Sarkozy – picked up a few votes. I’m not suggesting it was part of a cunning gallic plot, but shortly after I put up the poll, a French blog linked here which definitely helped.
13th Most Spankable gives 11th Most Spankable a good…spanking!
11= Eva Mendes (US) 7 votes 2%
The “new JLo” has bared her full latin butt for animal charity PETA, and in new movie The Spirit. I don’t know of any actual spanking connection in her life or career so far, but at least 7 of you will be watching very closely to see if that changes in 2009. Eva fans can view an earlier post about her here.
11= Ellen Page (Canada) 7 votes 2%
The sassypants Juno actress came to our attention on the back of playing TWO bratty teenager roles in the space of a year. 11th place is not a bad result for another relatively new name on the scene. She’s been described as “the second coming of Jodie Foster – including acting talent”. Including spankability too!
10 Megan Fox (US) 11 votes 4%
I found a nice picture of Megan Fox for those who voted the Transformers actress into the top ten. That tattoo on her right shoulder is a quote from Shakespeare: “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies.” But Megan is no stick insect – this year, while filming the sequel of Transformers, Michael Bay, the movie’s director, ordered her to gain 10 lbs, stating that he “does not like skinny girls.” So expect her butt to be in fine rounded condition during 2009, and ripe for a spanking!
Just another couple of pounds to go.
7= Lily Allen (UK) 13 votes 5%
The British pop minx proved to have stickability in your affections during a year in which she hasn’t even released a record. Her long-awaited second album, “It’s Not Me, It’s You“, finally comes out in the spring. The original working title for the album was “Stuck On the Naughty Step!” 13 of you think that a more old-fashioned form of discipline would best suit Lily’s needs.
7= Katy Perry (US) 13 votes 5%
“The look is sexy, yet sweet; both girly and powerful; a beguiling mix of bubblegum and burlesque. She can pout and part those scarlet lips like a pro, but then she’ll suddenly undermine the vamp image by opening her blue eyes wide and giving the camera a kooky look that is pure I Love Lucy.”
A journalist sums up why we like the “I Kissed a Girl” singer so much.
And didn’t Lucille Ball get spanked about five times?
7= Rihanna (US) 13 votes 5%
There was nothing to choose between singers Katy Perry, Lily Allen and Rihanna who all polled the same number of votes. The self-confessed “good girl gone bad” once did a photoshoot for GQ magazine in which she was shown being spanked otk. I hope the 13 readers who voted for her would make a better job of it than Robin Thicke who looks like a Ken doll.
6 Heidi Klum (Germany) 14 votes 5%
An excellent showing for the German born supermodel who is your sixth most wanted spankee of 2008. Heidi once played one of the most wanted spankees of the 1960s, Ursula Andress, in a movie about Peter Sellers.
5 Angelina Jolie (US) 15 votes 5%
When Angelina went nude this year in Wanted, even the complicated tattoo designs didn’t prevent speculation that a body double had been used. But there’s definitely nothing fake about your desire to have her across your knees, and she is in fact the highest placed movie actress in the poll.
Your Most Wanted Actress
It was probably a no-brainer to predict that the tennis ace would be the top placed sportswoman, but how would she fare against stars from the worlds of film and music? Answer: very strongly indeed and, after a late post-Christmas surge of votes, she heads the pack chasing “The Big Three”.
3 Avril Lavigne (Canada) 27 votes 10%
You get seriously itchy palms at the thought of this pouting pop princess. Here she displays some of the attitude that helped to make her, by some distance, our third most spankable celebrity of 2008 with 10% of the total vote. I say “our” because yours truly voted for her too! She also wins the personal battle with Ellen Page for the prestigious title of “Canadian in Most Need of A Sore Bottom!”
2 Sarah Palin (US) 49 votes 17%
Who would have predicted this result at the start of the year? A 40-something “hockey mom” from Alaska sandwiched between two (former) teenage pop sensations! Spankable women come in many different shapes and forms and the chemistry that makes some more popular than others can be an elusive quality to pin down. But whatever it is, Sarah Palin has got it in spades, and you voted her into a very comfortable second place in the poll.
Everyone’s Favorite “MILS!”
1 Britney Spears (US) 62 votes 22%
The “Palin Effect” prevented this from being an overwhelming victory, but it was still a very clear and convincing one. Perhaps some of you were thinking of the “… Baby One More Time” era Britney when casting your votes, but she has made a pop comeback this year, and scored a No.1 hit so she earns her place as YOUR number one. And you can’t argue with picking up 22% of the vote in a poll containing 20 candidates.
Yes, Britney Jean Spears, the Louisiana Woodshed Preservation Society cordially invites you to be guest of honor at it’s annual open day. They have 62 fully paid up members, so better take a cushion and some arnica cream!
And here’s a few more 2008 awards which I’ve chosen:
Best Buttocks in a Movie: Angelina Jolie in Wanted
Best Buttocks in a Bikini: Kate Hudson
Best mainstream spanking scene: Mary-Louise Parker in Weeds
Lifetime Achievment Award: Agnetha Falkstog (Sweden) O Mama Mia! What a Bottom!
And I’m delighted to announce that The Spank Statement has recently picked up a gong of its own. A coveted Cherry Award no less!
Thanks Dave (the cheque’s in the post!)
And the site was also listed in this roll of honour by French blogger Stan E. It’s great to get some recognition from one’s peers at the end of a long, hard but immensely enjoyable year’s blogging,
Thanks to everyone whose left a comment or sent me an email during the year.
I wonder what rosy-bottomed delights 2009 will have in store? I hope you’ll continue to join me here so that we can enjoy them together.
Happy New Year to one and all 🙂
“Congratulations Mary-Louise, do you have a message for your spank fans?”