Lost Spankings

This is the first in a short series of posts that have been written by Martyn who is hoping to trace some spankings that he saw on British TV from the 1970s – 90s. He would like to hear from anyone else who might have seen them.

Although Martyn stresses that his memories may not be totally accurate, the descriptions are very detailed and make for intriguing reading. If they ring any bells at all please leave a comment or send me an email.

I’ll post his other Lost Spankings over the next week or so.

Lost Property: This play was part of a series called Unnatural Causes – 6 different stories (unconnected) shown at about 9 pm on a Saturday evening in November 1986.

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A young couple buy an old village school with a view to convert it into a home. The woman played by the very sexy Miranda Richardson (left) starts to become possessed by the school building and begins behaving very strangely. After several arguments with her husband (John Duttine) she goes up into the attic and, yes you guessed it, finds the old school cane!

By now I was getting very interested in this show.

Miranda then starts to walk around the school swishing the cane and issuing orders to her now rather frazzled husband. Finally John Duttine can stand it no longer – he grabs hold of his wife and ties her wrists to the coat hooks in the cloak room and picks up the cane.

Miranda doesn’t seem to be too perplexed by her now rather perilous position and continues to goad her husband who decides that a straightforward ‘six of the best’ is not sufficient punishment for his somewhat demonic young wife, so he unfastens her skirt and lets it fall to the floor.

Miranda is still unconcerned and urges him to thrash her backside as hard as he wants. Duttine raises the cane and then can’t go through with the deed. (4 milion sighs of disappointment exclaimed in unison up and down the country). I remember seeing the book of the series on sale in WH Smiths, I wish I’d bought it now.

If anyone can ‘add too’ or ‘correct’ anything I have written, I would be very grateful.

Additional notes: I asked Martyn if Miranda’s bottom was bare, but he replied that sadly this was not the case – when he took her skirt down she was wearing a slip.

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Miranda Richardson was also threatended with a spanking in Series 2 of classic comedy Blackadder. Playing Queen Elizabeth, she is warned by her nurse: “If you weren’t quite so big, it would be time for Mr and Mrs Spank to pay a short sharp trip to Bottieland’.

Interestingly, the series was also first aired in 1986, evidently a year of close shaves for the bottom of La Richardson.

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8 thoughts on “Lost Spankings”

  1. I didn’t see this series (I was living on a different continent at the time) but I have managed to procure a copy of the book. It retells all seven plays in the series, of which ‘Lost Property’ was the second. All the scripts were by different writers, some of them television heavyweights like Nigel Kneale and Lynda La Plante. Lost Property was by Peter J. Hammond, who is best known for creating Sapphire and Steel and, more recently, wrote the best episodes (or, some might say, the only good episodes) of Torchwood.

    Hammond is good at writing situations where the past associations of places haunt their present occupants, and that comes out in Lost Property. Anne Forrest (Miranda Richardson) has bought a disused school with her inheritance, and keeps herself busy running it as if it were still running as a school. Her marriage to John (John Duttine) is breaking down: in the early stages he gives her notice that he will be leaving her at the end of the week. In a key conversation, he points out that in keeping the school she is trying to regress to childhood, because school is the only place she has ever felt safe. He also tells her she is no innocent:

    ‘There’ve been a lot of black marks in the register for you, dear.’

    In the next scene, Anne goes and fetches what the adaptation calls ‘a long, lethal-looking cane’. She slashes him across the face with it, saying afterwards that he deserved it for mentioning sex to her. He forces her back against a coatrack and tells her that, upon inheriting some money:

    ‘You decided to buy this place. Decided to buy back your schooldays. But back all that apple-for-the-teacher innocence…. Buy a bit of safety. Your kind of safety.’

    ‘That’s right.’ Anne said it quietly. Defiantly.

    ‘Well it can’t be done.’

    ‘I’ve done it.’

    ‘No.’ Forrest shook his head. ‘You can’t just wipe out all the bad things and the bad times by pretending to live in tiny-tot land. So… punishment.’


    ‘Yes. Isn’t that what I’ve just had?’

    Still holding onto Anne, Forrest ripped one of her blouse sleeves down to the buttoned cuff. Anne stood stock-still, as if it was part of her defiance.

    ‘After all, we have to set examples. Even to each other.’

    Forrest jerked her around to face the coat rack and tied her torn sleeve to one of the pegs. ‘Wouldn’t you agree?’

    She made no attempt to struggle. Kept her silence.

    Forrest ripped the second sleeve then, forcing her arms wide apart, tied that sleeve to another peg. He stepped back to look at her.

    ‘Six of the best, would you say?’ She watched him walk back around the coat racks and pick up the cane. He grinned, and showed her the cane, slapping it against his leg for effect.

    ‘Well,’ he said, a little disconcerted by her lack of fear. ‘I don’t see why we should make it easy for you…’ And as he spoke, he reached forward and ripped open the back of her blouse.

    Anne did not flinch.

    Forrest began to undo her skirt. ‘No favors. That’s the motto of this school. Right?’

    He tugged at the skirt and allowed it to fall. Then he slowly raised the cane – and checked himself, unable to deal the blow…

    At last, Anne was reacting to the situation. She was breathing deeply, her body moving gently.

    Forrest stared at her, realizing.

    ‘Do it then,’ Anne said very quietly. ‘If you’re going to.’ Then, with just a trace of impatience, ‘Do it.’

    But Forrest lowered the cane and dropped it to the floor. He reached forward, untied his wife’s wrists, turned and walked to the door.

    Anne Forrest moved slowly away from the coat rack, just the faintest of smiles on her face.

    … And that’s the end of the scene, pretty much as Martyn remembered it, though the book adapter (another Martyn, Martyn Forrester) leaves it ambiguous what Anne is wearing under her skirt: realistically one would infer he was going to cane her across her panties, but the television company evidently chose a more pusillanimous option!

    Anyone wanting to see Miranda Richardson’s bare bottom from about that period should seek out the BBC Films production of Simon Gray’s play After Pilkington, in which she plays a young woman committing adultery with an Oxford professor, and in one scene gets her panties taken down on screen… though sadly not for a spanking!

    1. Hi Harry

      Thanks very much for taking the time and effort to respond to the Lost Spankings – Lost Property thread. What a shame that you missed the actual showing of Lost property back in 1986.

      The series Unnatural Causes was like an up-market ‘tales of the unexpected’ which really should be repeated, or at least issued as a DVD box set, especially with the list of high caliber writers that it boasts.

      From your recap of the story, it seems that i did remember it reasonably well – shame it’s only spanking scenes and near spanking scenes that i have a photographic memory for! I don’t think i watched it from the beginning, as i didn’t know that Miranda’s character had inherited the money to buy the school with. Reading the text of the (near) caning scene it really illustrates how exciting, gripping and tense those few minutes were. I hadn’t remembered that he tied her wrists with her torn shirt sleeve, but as i read that, it did seem to come back to me. I remember him sentencing her to ‘six of the best’ but i don’t believe that he ripped the back of her blouse and when he took her skirt down, she had a white slip on underneath. Sadly I think the BBC might have drawn the line at her standing tied up with her blouse ripped and just a pair of panties to protect her viciously threatened bottom . I knew at the time that he would not be able to go through with the caning, even though she tried her best to goad him into it. Never-the-less it was a scene to get your heart racing.

      Also i don’t think i’ve heard of a cane being described as ‘lethal looking’ – don’t think too many schoolboys or schoolgirls actually died during a visit to the head’s study – that would be a tough school!

      I shall look out for the play ‘After Pilkington’ and the mouthwatering scene of miranda’s panties being lowered! Hopefully she will star in a revival of another of Simon Gray’s plays – ‘Molly’ where it would be a true delight to see her going over the knee – twice nightly!

      Thanks again


      1. Hi Martyn,

        Re- Lost Property;

        Dont know if I can help but I have the ‘best bit’ saved on dvd. It only lasts about 30 seconds or so and is not the best quality because it has been copied from vhs to dvd. I wish I had the full episode or the book. If I can help let me know.


  2. I managed to find some stills from the Simon Gray play.

    The views are rather distant, but I guess it’s as close as we’re ever going to get to seeing one of the most sought after bottoms of the 1980s at its peachy peak!

    The plot device of being haunted by “The Ghost of Corporal Punishment Past” is a great one for introducing a bit of old-fashioned spanking into an otherwise modern story. The ripping and tying up of the sleeves sounds a little BDSM to me though. I would have preferred some slightly more authentic teacher/pupil roleplay – perhaps featuring some school furniture such as a desk for bending over.

    Thanks for another truly great contribution Harry.

    And look out for Martyn’s next two lost spankings – which are both from the 1970s – when you might have been around to see them!

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