The Ffinest Ffamily in the Land

This is the last in the series of Martyn’s Lost Spankings – a scene which he describes as his ultimate Holy Grail of Mainstream Spanking!

The Ffinest Ffamily in the Land, transmitted in July 1974, was a really strange story about a dysfunctional family (mum, dad and two offspring in their early 20s) who live at the top of a block of flats. On coming home from an evening out, they find themselves locked out of their flat. From what I remember, a series of conversations take place regarding how they are going to gain entrance to their abode.

Suddenly the daughter becomes hysterical and starts screaming. The father announces that he is going to spank her to calm her down. I’ve heard of instances of slapping someone on the face cheeks to bring them out of hysteria but never the bottom cheeks! But he does just that – he sits down on the stairway, pulls her over his knee, raises her short mini skirt and spanks the seat of her panties about a dozen times. The scene is interjected with shots of the mother (Dandy Nicholls) and son watching in shocked amazement – well you would wouldn’t you!?

That is how I remember this rather good scene, but as I only saw it the once back in 1974, I hope I have not embellished it. But I don’t think I have, it was sort of burnt into my mind’s eye.

This is my Holy Grail of mainstream spanking. I would be very pleased to hear from anyone who can actually remember seeing it. I have yet to find a living soul who remembers it, and I’m starting to believe that I dreamt the whole thing. In fact if anyone can add too or correct anything I have written on any of the above I would be very grateful.

When I first got onto the internet about 10 years ago, I tried to find out some more info about the scene I had witnessed back in 1974. Firstly I had no idea what the play was called or any of the actors in it. The girl who was spanked in the play, I remembered was in a series called The Life of Riley .

When I discovered the website IMDb.com I looked this programme up and worked out that the girl was Susan Littler. I then went to her page to discover only about 7 credits (now there are 27 and quite a few more to be added). She was best remembered in her TV work for her portrayal of Vivian Nicholson the big football pools winner of the 60s in a play called Spend Spend Spend. She was a real cracker, who also occasionally appeared in The Liverbirds and The Lovers – two series of around that time.

Susan Littler Spend

Susan Littler in Spend Spend Spend

But to my horror, I also discovered that Susan had died in 1982. Obviously I never knew her, but bizarrely I felt that something from my past had been taken away. I was determined to find out more about the play if I could.

Several years ago in correspondence with Murray Roberts, I described the scene and even though he hadn’t seen it, he knew it was from a play called the Ffinest Ffamily in the Land. (note the two ‘f’s, not a spelling mistake) by a man called Henry Livings .

Murray also sent me the script of the play. Armed with this knowledge, I continued to scan the net and found the CV of a very attractive actress who played the spankee part in a production at a Nottingham theatre, but nothing else.

Over the last few years, I have put messages on IMDb to try and find out if anyone else had seen the play but nothing came back. About three weeks ago, I had another search and bingo! Someone had placed all the details of Of FFITL on the Britmovie.com chat forum (fate or what!). It sounds like there is a tape existing of the play as one message intimates that they might show it at a member’s event in the future.

Update: Since receiving this piece from Martyn, I have been able to put him in touch with another Spank Statement reader who also remembers seeing this scene.

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