Stick Around, Pond

Amelia Pond, you hereby stand accused of the following charges:

  • wearing skirts that are too short
  • constant pert backtalk
  • handcuffing a Time Lord to a radiator
  • disobedience
  • insolence
  • telling your dad to shut up
  • being a redhead

Yes ok, you might have saved the universe, but stick around Pond.

At least until the next series.

Because the Doctor has some unfinished business with you m’lady!

Thanks to Harry for sending me a wallpaper-sized version of this much admired picture

Whovian spank fans regretting the end of the current run and the passing of the heady “Summer of Pond” can drown their sorrows by re-reading this earlier Spank Statement or heading over to Harry’s Yahoo Group to read his latest Dr Who based Spanking Adventure (login required).

As Caitlin Moran in The Times put it:

A 5ft 11in Amazonian goddess with Titian hair, girl-cat eyes and legs from here to yaya. You can rack up all the super-intellectual 900-year-old time-travellers you want — in the end, they won’t hold a candle to a tamale-hot giantess with freckles and an attitude.

5 thoughts on “Stick Around, Pond”

  1. I agree with almost everything you say here: Amy Pond is exceedingly spankable. But… I wouldn’t include the wearing of short skirts on the charge sheet, because I don’t think a girl should be spanked for something we like her to do. It’s true that I enjoy watching her being cheeky or disobedient, but that is because I enjoy imagining the spanking that might (and should) be the outcome. However, I enjoy watching her short skirts for their own sake … so spanking her for her dress sense is a bit like what I call the ‘Daily Mail Maneuver’. Remember how the paper splashed photos of the Britain’s Got Talent spanking act, accompanied with a story about how this was a really bad thing which should be banned? It took the same line in manufacturing the furore about Amy’s skirts: condemnation in order to justify titillation. Or, in simpler terms, hypocrisy.

    As you make clear, there are plenty reasons for the Doctor to put Amy across his knee. But in spanking terms, her short skirts are not an offense – they are an opportunity!

  2. Does this mean that Alex Kingston can’t be spanked for time-travelling in overly tight trousers either? 😦

    Talking of the Daily Mail though, remember their former columnist Jean Rook?

    When she said that a female celeb should be spanked, there was no titillation or hypocrisy involved. The narrow-minded old battleaxe truly meant it!

    I think she would have disapproved of Amy’s dress and demeanour, but probably complained that “Matt Smith as the Doctor isn’t man enough to put the annoying Scottish madam across his knee and give her what she’s been asking for ever since those attention seeking legs first skipped across the threshold of his Tardis!”

    Or something along those lines…

  3. What it means is that we have to find a better reason to dole out the discipline, so that we can enjoy seeing her get spanked in that outfit!

    I think you’ll find that Jean Rook wrote for the Daily Express, not the Mail. In exactly the way you describe…

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