Category Archives: Art

Outdoor Spanking Special Part Two – The Country Walk

If you are going to be out and about in the countryside remember to follow the Spanker’s Country Code:

Country Walk 2

  • DO use playful spanking to enliven those dull road sections of your hike.

Walk 3

  • DO combine spanking with a little golf practice.

Otk _1

  • DO use a forest clearing or field for more serious otk punishments.

  • DON’T allow your spankee to shout too loudly. This could disturb nesting birds.

  • DO remember to take away your litter when spanking is complete.

Opr123

  • DO instruct your red-bottomed rambling companion to stand holding a footpath sign as a substitute for cornertime.

  • DO remember that insect bite lotion is also very soothing on a well-smacked bottom.

Tables Turned

Tables Turned3

This sculpture is made from bronze and must be very valuable. Limited edition copies were available to buy. Complete with the title Tables Turned, it’s a neat play on the concept of switching. I don’t know the name of the sculptor, but apparently she’s American and female. Anyone know?

Spank As You Shop

What is it about shopping, that gives young ladies the urge to start spanking each other? I suppose the myriad of potential implements that the average store contains must provide some of the inspiration. We have wooden spoon, candy cane, table tennis bat and a box of …who knows what.

Hardware Spank

Candy Cane Spank

Drug Store Spank1

Toy Shop Spank2

I just hope they were all returned to their rightful place in the store undamaged. Or else the shop keeper might be the one doing the spanking!

Sorority Paddling

Paddling Nice Size

Unfortunately the room in which those giant paddles are displayed is hardly big enough to swing one. And that pretty petite blonde looks hardly big enough to hold one either. Still, standing on the couch seems to help.

But hold on a minute. Standing on the couch! In boots! Isn’t that a paddling offence in itself?

Bianca Beauchamp

Bianca4

I love the enthusiasm etched on the face of fetish model Bianca Beauchamp in this picture (Click to enlarge). Her expression really seems to capture “la joie de fesser”. It also contrasts nicely with the understated apprehension on the face of the spankee. No hand-to-mouth overacting here.

Nice authentic looking background props too, but it’s a shame about the silly fetish wear. As if headmistress and schoolgirl uniforms weren’t sexy enough, they have to come up with a rubberised version! Fine if that’s your kink I suppose, but to me it’s just plain unnecessary. You may have seen this picture before on the internet, but it was first published in a mainstream lad’s mag.

Venus

 And so, to the cinema, to see the new British movie Venus starring Leslie Philips and Peter O’Toole as old friends Ian and Maurice. They are fellow actors of the type who had decent careers while never breaking through to the big time. The pair spend their semi-retirement mulling over obituaries in the café, and bickering like husband and wife. Maurice is having trouble with his prostate and is reduced to playing corpses on TV (“typecasting,” jokes his ex-wife).

Their routine is disturbed by the arrival of Ian’s great-niece Jessie played by Jodie Whittaker, Most Spankable 2007 who comes to London from the north, ostensibly to care for her relative while searching for work. Ian, who expects a dutiful servant, is disappointed. She turns out to be surly, self-centered, idle, ignorant, foul mouthed and a prodigious drinker and smoker. Despite Jessie’s shortcomings, Maurice takes a shine to her and decides to undertake her education. Now doesn’t that sound just like the synopsis of a spanking porn film? Or at least a mainstream film that’s sure to have a spanking scene in it?

The excellent Jodie Whittaker, certainly goes straight to the top of my Most Spankable Celebrity 2007 list . Unfortunately, she does not get initiated into the Cinema Spanking Hall of Fame, in spite of almost every scene that she is in providing a potential provocation. This omission is all the more disappointing considering that O’Toole’s character is clearly a bottom worshipper, as he names Jessie ‘Venus’ after the famous painting by Velázquez in the National Gallery. This nude, by a painter who normally didn’t do nudes, features arguably the most beautiful bottom in all art.

.rokeby

The scene in which the pair see the painting is pictured here.venus1  O’Toole and Whittaker bounce off each other brilliantly, and it is actually appropriate and sweet when he nicknames her Venus, after the painting. As well as art, the script also plays with literature and pop culture (when Maurice quotes Shakespeare, Jessie counters with Kylie ). But my favourite moment is when O’Toole’s character quotes a poem by Philip Larkin which should be called something like “The Spanker’s Elegy”, but is actually called much more boringly, “Administration”:

Day by day your estimation clocks up

Who deserves a smile and who a frown,

And girls you have to tell to pull their socks up,

Are those whose pants you’d most like to pull down

Kinky Footballer

Footballer Spanking

This example of computer generated art doesn’t come from a porn site or spanking magazine, but from a British national newspaper comic strip. It features a Footballer’s Wives type scenario in which David Beckham lookalike Ryan, is having a fling with his attractive agent, while his girlfriend is recovering in hospital from a car crash which he had caused. They clearly enjoy a bit of spanking role play – an interesting example of our kink gatecrashing mainstream culture. After all you don’t get much more mainstream at the moment than David Beckham .

Footballer’s Wives itself could do with using a storyline like this. Unless I’m mistaken, this show is written by the same team that wrote Bad Girls on which the excellent spanking web-site Bars and Stripes is based. Wouldn’t it be great to see the influence working the other way too!