Category Archives: Celebrities Who Want To Be Spanking Models

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan

This is not a photo shop, it’s for real. The back story is that Ellen von Unwerth did a shoot with Lindsay Lohan  on the Greek island of Mykonos last summer. The pictures were pretty bland, standard fare (see them here if you’re interested) but, typically enough, Lindsay didn’t arrive at the shooting location on time. So von Unwerth posted this bts shot on social media with the caption “THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING LATE!”


Celebrities Who Want To Be Spanking Models – Jill Halfpenny

jillhalfpenny tennis

British actress Jill Halfpenny was interviewed in The Sun today and was asked a very interesting question:

You’ve stripped on tour for Calendar Girls but would you go as far as Keira Knightley and be spanked by Michael Fassbender for a movie?

The soap star, who Katy Perry has said she is often mistaken for when she comes to the UK, replied:

Forget the movie — and the money for that matter — I’ll just be spanked by Michael Fassbender!

She’s offered her services for free so perhaps this could be arranged as a charity stunt for TV. She’s already modelled as the Athena tennis girl (above) and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a much more revealing version of this Calendar Girls picture (although I can’t find it now) – so, unlike Keira Knightley, she’s certainly not bottom shy.

jillhalfpenny calendargirls

Lucy Pinder

Not sure if I can explain why this clip of Lucy Pinder taking a MONKEY across her knee is hot, but I’m grateful to Chross for including it in his Spankings of the Week!

It’s not the first time that Lynx have used spanking in their ads – you probably remember this one from a few years back.

lucy pinder

Lucy Pinder also happens to be the cover star of this week’s Nuts magazine and her kinky photoshoot has the large chested (but small bottomed) model wearing handcuffs and spanking herself with a paddle.

Hope she hit herself at least as hard as she hit that poor monkey!

Lucy Pinder Nuts 10

See the rest of the Nuts pictures here.

Brit Bot of the Week


The Brit Bot of the Week pretty much picks itself after Kelly Brook’s guest appearance in Skins as a fitness instructor in a tight body suit.

Kelly Brook is probably more famous for her bottom than anything else. She’s done bits and pieces of television presenting – usually with disastrous results (remember The Big Breakfast anyone?) and her most memorable contribution to the film Piranha was her red bikini – the lower half of which appeared on the poster.

pirhana 001

She’s also recently starred in an excellent ass-vertising campaign for Reebok Easytone trainers.

Out of all the pictures of her butt that are knocking around the internet one of my faves would have to be this pin-up style shot from last September’s Playboy. Kelly certainly bucks the trend for stick thin celebrities but is all the fuss about her ample rear justified…or not? Vote now.


Update March 2013: And here’s a picture of Kelly actually being spanked! She posted it on her own instagram account.

kelly brook

And you can hear Kelly say the word “spanking” in this Brit Bot post which has also been updated.

Celebrities Who Want To Be Spanking Models – Bridget Marquardt

Bridget Marquardt (34), is an American television personality, model, and actress, best known for her role on the reality series The Girls Next Door with Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson.

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In 2002, she was invited to move into the Playboy mansion and become one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. She also appeared in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm (2005) as herself, along with Holly Madison and Hefner.

hf 02

Bridget marked

Most recently, Bridget appeared in Nickelback’s video Rockstar, at the point where the singer mentions Playboy Bunnies.

She has also been spotted auditioning for an alternative career, as a spanking model, with Hefner as her chief mentor.

Rating: should be bending further forward, but nice presentation of silky smooth rear-end, and a good facial expression: 8 out of 10

A Top Career Advisor writes: An impressive first effort. (loosening tie) Erm…now can we move the severity level up a notch Hugh.

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Celebrities Who Want To be Spanking Models – St Trinians Special

I forgot to mention in my last post that Russell Brand is in the St Trinians film, playing the character of Flash Harry. And this weekend, I’ve been to see him in it!

It’s an enjoyable enough caper, with plenty of anarchic spirit, not so different from the originals really. And with a similar total absence of any c.p. references. Well, almost total.

There was a publicity poster for one of the old films in which headmistress Alistair Simm brandished a cane. And the new film had a similar moment which may appeal to some. The girl in this picture is Gemma Arterton who has since won a part in the next James Bond movie.

st 01

Bond author Ian Fleming had a fetish for spanking. and in almost every novel Bond tells a girl (usually one with a masculine and muscular derriere) that he wants to spank her. How long have we been waiting for one of the Bond movies to reflect this? Gemma would certainly make a great candidate for a place in history as “The First Bond Girl To Go OTK!”

And don’t forget that another St Trinians girl Tamsin Egerton is “certain” to find herself OTK before the year is out, when she appears in Jilly Cooper’s Octavia.

kk 01If you can’t wait that long, you can always amuse yourself with these pictures of some British celebrities in a supposedly “St Trinians-inspired” photo shoot for the Daily Mail’s You magazine. Here and here.

I say ‘supposedly’ because they don’t seem to me to have much of a St Trinians vibe at all. Darker, more twisted elements have crept in. The influence of sixties fetish photographers such as Helmut Newton is perhaps discernible.

Most weirdly of all, check out the seedy bare walls of the location, with no attempt to make a realistic school room setting. Do I detect an internet spanking website influence on these pics?

Again, there’s no overt c.p., unless you count the picture of Jade Goody sitting in a corner in a dunce’s cap. I never thought I would feature this loathsome woman on my blog, but this must rank as some of the best work she’s ever done!

There’s certainly an undercurrent of spanking fantasy behind all of the pictures, and this is exploited further by the interviews in which the girls are asked about their own school days,

…with an emphasis on the naughty things they used to get up to!

Again, Jade Goody’s makes for an amusing read:

Lowest point: I received a gold star from the headmistress for working hard. To get one you needed a letter from a teacher, and as I realised that was never going to happen, I forged it. Unfortunately I was caught and suspended for fraud.

Naughtiest moment: There was a rumour that one of our teachers had wooden toes so one lunchtime, when I was sitting next to her, I dropped a fork on the floor, crept under the table and prodded her toes with it. She didn’t flinch. In my excitement I leapt up, banged my head on the table and shouted, “It’s true! She’s got wooden toes!” I was suspended for three weeks.

Worst subject: Geography. I didn’t want to be a weather girl, so couldn’t see the point. My teacher kept telling me I was more likely to be a porn star than a geographer.

Her geography teacher has now been proved right – a spanking porn star!

The article also reveals that Jade attended the notorious Bacon’s College in South London which has been identified as one of the heaviest caning schools of all time. Girls were subject to the punishment as much as boys, but fortunately for Jade, it had been banned by the time she started there.

If she’d been born just a few years earlier, she would probably have become the most caned female in British educational history!

Other celebrities featured include soap actresses Helen Flanagan (sensational full picture), and Katherine Kelly (the most spankable swot you ever saw), socialite Lady Isabella Hervey (on the parallel bars!), and twins Sam and Amanda Merchant (no strangers to The Spank Statement).

But don’t overlook naughty Emma Rigby. She’s a Hollyoaks actress who is spankability on a stick! She’s the lower one of the two girls poking their heads round the door.

What a wasted opportunity that you don’t even get to see her in her full school uniform. She’s clearly up to no good in this picture.

I’d sentence her to a journey in the tardis – back in time to the 1970s, where she would have to spend a full term at Bacon’s College!

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Celebrities Who Want To Be Spanking Models – Rihanna

ri 01

This picture of music star Rihanna, which appeared in GQ magazine, has to be one of the most half-hearted attempts at a spanking picture ever. The whole point of the OTK position is that it gets the butt facing SKYWARDS. You can’t go across the knee whilst still remaining seated! She looks more like she’s having a kip.

And what about the wooden pose of the guy? Or is it a waxwork dummy? The shot just doesn’t seem to work on any level – uninspiring, timid, lazy and above all dull.

Other bloggers, who posted this picture when it came out, mentioned the usual stuff about spanking becoming more mainstream. Well, if this is what mainstream spanking means, then it might as well stay underground!

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And yet Rihanna has to be one of the most spank-worthy celebs of the year. She released an album called Good Girl Gone Bad for a start, which contained her massive hit Umbrella. She also treated us to a dance routine on her tour in which she revealed plenty of leg and booty (see left).

ri 03Then recently, it was reported that she caused offence to her family when she went home to attend her sister’s wedding.

Rihanna hails from conservative Barbados, and the revealing dress (right) she wore didn’t go down too well, both on grounds of taste, and also because she upstaged the bride.

One family member said:

She should have been more low-key, dressed appropriately. She had words with her aunt and mother, and she was asked to leave.

Even if this report is not true, it’s still a great premise for a story or a film.

  • Big-shot 19 year old star arrives back home for sister’s wedding
  • She puts everyone’s nose out of joint with her diva-like demands and showy attitude
  • Aunt and mother get together to form a plan of action
  • They decide to administer the mother of all spankings..
  • …in a PROPER otk position with butt facing skywards!

I recommend something more like this…


…followed by a Caribbean-style rump roasting that really makes her yella – ella – ella!