I forgot to mention in my last post that Russell Brand is in the St Trinians film, playing the character of Flash Harry. And this weekend, I’ve been to see him in it!
It’s an enjoyable enough caper, with plenty of anarchic spirit, not so different from the originals really. And with a similar total absence of any c.p. references. Well, almost total.
There was a publicity poster for one of the old films in which headmistress Alistair Simm brandished a cane. And the new film had a similar moment which may appeal to some. The girl in this picture is Gemma Arterton who has since won a part in the next James Bond movie.
Bond author Ian Fleming had a fetish for spanking. and in almost every novel Bond tells a girl (usually one with a masculine and muscular derriere) that he wants to spank her. How long have we been waiting for one of the Bond movies to reflect this? Gemma would certainly make a great candidate for a place in history as “The First Bond Girl To Go OTK!”
And don’t forget that another St Trinians girl Tamsin Egerton is “certain” to find herself OTK before the year is out, when she appears in Jilly Cooper’s Octavia.
If you can’t wait that long, you can always amuse yourself with these pictures of some British celebrities in a supposedly “St Trinians-inspired” photo shoot for the Daily Mail’s You magazine. Here and here.
I say ‘supposedly’ because they don’t seem to me to have much of a St Trinians vibe at all. Darker, more twisted elements have crept in. The influence of sixties fetish photographers such as Helmut Newton is perhaps discernible.
Most weirdly of all, check out the seedy bare walls of the location, with no attempt to make a realistic school room setting. Do I detect an internet spanking website influence on these pics?
Again, there’s no overt c.p., unless you count the picture of Jade Goody sitting in a corner in a dunce’s cap. I never thought I would feature this loathsome woman on my blog, but this must rank as some of the best work she’s ever done!
There’s certainly an undercurrent of spanking fantasy behind all of the pictures, and this is exploited further by the interviews in which the girls are asked about their own school days,
…with an emphasis on the naughty things they used to get up to!
Again, Jade Goody’s makes for an amusing read:
Lowest point: I received a gold star from the headmistress for working hard. To get one you needed a letter from a teacher, and as I realised that was never going to happen, I forged it. Unfortunately I was caught and suspended for fraud.
Naughtiest moment: There was a rumour that one of our teachers had wooden toes so one lunchtime, when I was sitting next to her, I dropped a fork on the floor, crept under the table and prodded her toes with it. She didn’t flinch. In my excitement I leapt up, banged my head on the table and shouted, “It’s true! She’s got wooden toes!” I was suspended for three weeks.
Worst subject: Geography. I didn’t want to be a weather girl, so couldn’t see the point. My teacher kept telling me I was more likely to be a porn star than a geographer.
Her geography teacher has now been proved right – a spanking porn star!
The article also reveals that Jade attended the notorious Bacon’s College in South London which has been identified as one of the heaviest caning schools of all time. Girls were subject to the punishment as much as boys, but fortunately for Jade, it had been banned by the time she started there.
If she’d been born just a few years earlier, she would probably have become the most caned female in British educational history!
Other celebrities featured include soap actresses Helen Flanagan (sensational full picture), and Katherine Kelly (the most spankable swot you ever saw), socialite Lady Isabella Hervey (on the parallel bars!), and twins Sam and Amanda Merchant (no strangers to The Spank Statement).
But don’t overlook naughty Emma Rigby. She’s a Hollyoaks actress who is spankability on a stick! She’s the lower one of the two girls poking their heads round the door.
What a wasted opportunity that you don’t even get to see her in her full school uniform. She’s clearly up to no good in this picture.
I’d sentence her to a journey in the tardis – back in time to the 1970s, where she would have to spend a full term at Bacon’s College!