Category Archives: Music

Musical Spanks

This new picture of R&B singer Ne-Yo and one of his stage dancers caught my eye today for fairly obvious reasons.

ne-yo 001

Here’s a few similar ones featuring Beyonce (who recorded an album called Naughty Girl), Jennifer Lopez (her would be spanker is Tom Cruise in disguise) and Madonna (who ISN’T singing Hanky-Panky)

beyoncetomcruisespanksjlo

madonna

Switch On – It’s Time For Glee

Since I first posted this stage switching from the musical Spring Awakening eighteen months ago, the little known actress playing the spank-curious, turn-of-the-century teenager Wendla has gone on to bigger things.

Lea-Michele-Glee l

In fact, Lea Michele is now one of the hottest stars on TV thanks to her role as Rachel in Glee. She’s even made Time Magazine’s list of “100 Most Influential People in the World” for 2010. It’s amazing what an early appearance on The Spank Statement can do for your career!

lm 002

For years Kiss Me Kate was the only regularly performed stage production which contained a spanking scene. It’s attracted a loyal following of devotees who collect pictures and swap tales about which Kate got the most spankings etc.

Can Spring Awakening ever attract the same sort of interest?

Disney Wendla by hrivielIt’s a very different scene that lacks the OTK factor of Kiss Me Kate. It’s also a consensual (yawn!) scene with none of that sparky “taming of the shrew” build up that you get in the older musical.

On the other hand, Spring Awakening does have an electricity all of its own as the sexually repressed Wendla attempts to get Melchior to “play” with her. It may not be otk, but it is on the bottom and the switching looks pretty real too. Very rarely KMK spankings are over underwear, but it’s written into the script that Wendla says she isn’t feeling anything and LIFTS HER DRESS! Plus, while most KMK actresses have way too many layers, Wendla only wears a flimsy white dress and dark stockings – a great combination!

And productions of Spring Awakening are getting more and more sexed up too! This is the poster for a recent Brazilian show starring Maria Sharapova lookalike Malu Rodrigues. (Haven’t been able to find a clip of her being switched, but it could well break new ground if it surfaces).

mr 001

Commenting on Lea Michele’s selection for the Most Influential list, Olivia Newton-John told USA Today,

“As Rachel Berry on the hit TV show Glee, she is inspiring young people to get involved in musical programs in schools and encouraging communities to fund them.”

Hmm…wonder if thats the only thing she’s inpired young people to get involved in? Audiences at SA shows are mostly in the 16 – 25 demographic, and it can only be a good thing that this generation are being introduced to the idea that spanking is an exciting and acceptable thing to try out. Or to put it another way:

Teenagers whupping each other with twigs? What’s NOT to like!

It could even become a Youtube craze if these two videos are anything to go by.

  1. This recently uploaded clip features members of the US cast on a day off during their national tour. Judging by the poor sound, it’s a windy day which might be what made the branches fall off the trees. Check out the giant-sized specimen in the background! It looks as though Krista Pioppi gets more than she bargained for too.
  2. Even more bizarre is this rehearsal by 18 yr old drama student Claire who is very serious about her art indeed! (Check out the telling comment from someone behind the camera “Claire, why do you always want to do THIS scene?)

Yes, you could say that things have come a long way since that earlier Spank Statement. And for those who still aren’t convinced about Spring Awakening, what about some spanking in Glee? It would suit it well with it’s youthful cast of prim students and sassy cheerleaders.

Although according to some reports Lea Michele is in need of a spanking in real life, perhaps the best chance will come when Glee does a SECOND Madonna special in the next series. The first Madonna special contained 8 songs, none of which were Hanky Panky. Only trouble is Madonna has had a hell of a lot of hits!

GLEE-CAST-1

If the annoyingly perfect Rachel were to find herself in this position across the knee of Spanish teacher Mr Schuester in a future episode then it really will be time to switch on to Glee!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Simon Cowell Spanks Cheryl Cole

At last night’s National Television Awards, as Cheryl was signing some autographs, Simon Cowell crept up behind her and gave her a sharp tap on the behind.

I don’t know if you would strictly call it a spanking, but that didn’t stop one TV show from running the clip to the soundtrack of Madonna’s Hanky Panky. So I guess I’m not the only one guilty of a little exaggeration.

Anyway judge for yourselves 52 seconds into this YouTube video

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Randi and Evans’s Butt Routine

This clip comes from the current season of Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance and features Evan Kasprzak and Randi Evans. On Wednesday’s show they danced a homage to “the booty” – Randi’s booty to be exact.

“The racy spanking piece brought out the sexy Parisian in her and more of the debonair throwback in him. Something that will be remembered, if only as the ‘butt’ routine.”

Best moment comes just after the 1 minute mark, but make sure to watch right to the end for the gripping finale.

The lovely Cat Deeley presents this show. I’d like to know if she had any comment to make about the spanking.

re 002

Randi Evans

Interestingly, the choreography is by a woman – Mia Michels who has worked with Madonna in the past. The music is “Koop Island Blues” by Koop featuring Ane Brun.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Chat Show Host Spanked by Guest

Chelsea Lately is an American late night comedy talk show on the E! television network. It’s notable for host Chelsea Handler’s sarcastic and naughty approach to her celebrity guests. She has been described as “the most feared woman in Hollywood” , but sometimes the celebrities get their revenge!

ch 01

When singer Akon appeared, she told him that Smack That was the first tune she ever downloaded onto her ipod. Akon laughs and asks the audience:

“Can you picture Chelsea bending over and getting smacked?”

It doesn’t take long before the audience gets to see for themselves what it looks like.

The fun starts at about 3mins 30sec. on this YouTube clip

Finally, an example of Chelsea’s cutting wit:

‘Dolly Parton has cancelled her tour because of back pain related to her boobs. Is Beyoncé going to cancel her tour because she’s tired of lugging around her ass?’

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Uniform Special – SCHOOLGIRLS!!! Part Two

“Sits alone and bends his cane / Same old backsides again,”

(from “Baggy Trousers” by Madness)

The musical Our House is based on the songs of the 1980s British pop group Madness, and these lines come from one of their most famous hits which is all about schooldays.

The routine for the song sees the cast in school uniforms with a ‘classroom’ stage set of sliding desks. There’s also a cane-wielding headmaster.

In the original British production, when the two lines are sung, one of the BOYS kneels up on a desk and gets a stroke of the cane from the headmaster.

This is a clip from a Dutch version that has a MUCH better way of doing it!

What you DO get in the British version though is authentic 1980s school uniforms, knicker-flashing, and a move in which the boys hoist the girls upon their shoulders and spank them. While the girls flail their legs wildly and shout, the boys grunt like Maria Sharapova serving an ace, as they spank!

Not the most efficient way of spanking someone admittedly, but it does look pretty spectacular.

If you’d like to watch these performances in full you can see the British version here, and the Dutch version here.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Mooning Pop Stars

Is this Lily Allen’s response to being voted your 7th= most spankable personality alongside Katy Perry? There’s no love lost between the two, and Lily looks like she’s making an early bid to win us over so that she can beat her rival this year.

psm 02

But there’s been a swift riposte from Katy Perry who has just started a new US tour with a gig in LA. The cheeky singer bent right over in a short dress and touched her toes!

psm 01

I look forward to the next round of this particular battle!

Snow-bound London commuters were warmed up by the headline Lily spanks bum for boys in the free Metro newspaper. She might have patted it a couple of times, but I see this as essentially a “moon” rather than a “spanking”. Still, complete with Agent Provocateur underwear, it’s as cute a moon as you’re ever likely to see so who’s complaining?

Some observers said that Lily was copying Lady Ga Ga, who was all over the press in early January with her bottom baring antics. If so, I hope the trend continues.

A lot of so-called mooning pictures on the net are really just posed glamour shots, but I love TRUE mooning pictures. The butt should be exposed, ideally in a public place – and just the butt – no other part of the body. I’d rather see a good mooning picture than bikini shots.

Naughty female pop stars pulling attention-grabbing moonies is hardly new. Avril Lavigne had a rather timid but still much loved moment a few years back.

mps-01

This is recent American Idol contestant Emily Wynne Hughes with a fine example of what I mean by a true moon.

mps 02

Perhaps it’s time there was a mooning chart.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Nalgadas

Spanish speaking people have something in common with French speaking people – their word for spanking is derived from their word for buttocks. This removes any possible doubt about which part of the body is being struck. When a French or Spanish person threatens a spanking they are literally saying:

“I’m going to give you a good buttocking!”

I always think that “fesser”, the French word, sounds a bit hissy, but “nalgadas”, the Spanish one, is a good strong satisfying word to say. I also like the idea of a word that contains THREE whole syllables! I don’t know if it’s the correct way but Nal-GA!-das – with the emphasis in the middle sounds best.

In English, short words ending in ‘k’ tend to be “dirty” words. Keyword lists, even on non-kinky sex websites, usually include “spank” somewhere before the similar sounding “spunk” and “wank”. This has led to the word being appropriated by the porn industry in a way that you can’t imagine ever quite happening to fesser or nalgadas.

As a result, you rarely hear the word spanking used in radio-friendly popular song. There are one or two notable exceptions of which Madonna’s Hanky Panky is the most famous. Christine Aguilera also used it in a song on her Back to Basics album: (although this was during her “dirty” phase which rather proves my point)

oh no, oh there I go again
I need a spanking, ’cause I’ve been bad
so let my body do the talkin’
I’ll slip you that hot, sweet, sexy loving

I can’t think of any other famous examples, but if you turn to Spanish-speaking artists, there is a Columbian singer called Verónica Orozco who had a hit single in 2006 called Las Bragas, which means “Panties”

It uses the word nalgadas in a cute non-threatening kind of way that doesn’t frighten off the teenage girls who are presumably her target audience (whilst providing an unexpected thrill for their dads).

The word is the very last one in the song too, which places quite an emphasis on it.

Si de repente una noche me levanto a tu hermana
y amanece en mi cama,
con la boca pintada, toda desarreglada
y le doy tres nalgadas

Apparently, the song was considered quite controversial, not because of the spanking, but because it hints at lesbianism. I put the lyrics into an internet translator, but still couldn’t make much sense of them.

If suddenly one night I get up at your sister
and sunrise on my bed,
with their lips painted, any disorderly
and I three spanking

Hmm…

But, whatever it means, I do know it sounds pretty hot when sung in Spanish – especially followed, as it is, by Veronica’s sexy giggles.

I googled Veronica Orozco and found this picture of her SPANKING her teddy bear.

vo 02

And another one of her as a schoolgirl sitting at a desk with her PANTIES around her ankles. (I’m sensing some repeating themes here!)

vo 01

Is there a pop singer who could get away with an English language version of Las Bragas?

PRJPreview127-Katy-Perry

Katy Perry does seem to have a similar image. And after “I Kissed A Girl”, another song with lesbian overtones wouldn’t be too much of a stretch. But could she reclaim the word spanking and make it sound naughty not nasty? I’d like to hear her try.

Extra Trivia Note: Las Bragas is used as the theme tune of S.O.S.: Sexo y otros Secretos, a Mexican TV version of Sex and the City which is currently in it’s second season.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Katy Perry

Is it me, or does I Kissed a Girl singer Katy Perry keep giving out certain…umm…signals?

For a start we were all intrigued to learn that her strictly religious parents strongly disapprove of her record.

She’s always loved posing with her bottom on show…

kp 02

then she started dressing as a schoolgirl

kp 05

AND a 1950s Lolita

perryb350

On TV last week, when asked if there was a risk of her going down the Britney Spears/Amy Winehouse route, she said she’d got people around her who would “kick her butt” if she stepped out of line.

kp 08

Now pictures have emerged of Katy having a wrestling match with a girlfriend at a rock festival. She only stopped the ‘fight’ when her boyfriend Travis McCoy stepped in and dragged her away using a fireman’s lift. Her ample rear was on show for all to see as the Gym Class Heroes star carried off the misbehaving singer…and then did what?

kp 12

OK so it’s all a bit drip drip drip… nothing concrete. But how long can it be before a story involving “Katy Perry” and “spanking” hits the headlines.

My money is on this. At the MTV awards she did a cover version of her hero Madonna’s Like A Virgin.

Could it be Hanky Panky next?

AddThis Social Bookmark Button