Category Archives: Sport

A Day At The Races

Thanks to Mitch over at All Things Spanking for finding this picture of former Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins being playfully spanked with a riding crop by supermodel Megan Gale at the Australian Derby Day.

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The incident was televised (on Channel 7) apparently, and reports say that sales of the sparkly riding accessory have since gone through the roof.

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Let’s hope their buyers put them to good use, and perhaps the fashion will catch on at other race meetings. That could make next year’s Royal Ascot, where the picture below was taken, a LOT more interesting.

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Jennifer Hawkins also famously endured a very public humiliation due to this classic wardrobe malfunction a few years back. The girl just can’t seem to keep her bottom out of the news.

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Rollergirls

Hell on Wheels (2007) is a documentary film about a group of tattooed rock ‘n roll chicks who struggle to resurrect the sport of roller derby. The women overcome all obstacles to revel in undreamed of success, inspiring dozens of other leagues to start up across the US and launching a roller derby revival. The picture below comes from the film.

What isn’t explained is how spanking came to be so much a part of the culture of roller derby – especially all-female roller derby. There seems to be TWO distinct customs:

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Hell on Wheels

For serious rule infringements, the ref blows his whistle and spins the Penalty Wheel. The pointer clacks past punishments such as Jousting, Pillow Fight, Tug O War and, hopefully, lands on either Spank Alley or Team Spank.

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The Penalty Wheel

Spank Alley involves a skater rolling past a line of eager disciplinarians. Sometimes the spectators get to take part in this.

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Spank Alley

The picture below shows a “team spank” where the green team is getting to spank members of the black team with a paddle. Definitely a heavy-duty swat or two is landing here if the size of the spanker’s arms is anything to go by!

For the spectators at least, it looks like great fun and the spanking is a light-hearted part of the overall entertainment package that other sports would do well to copy!

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Team Spank

But if their grrrrly backsides weren’t already red and sore enough after the matches, there’s also the second roller derby spanking tradition. This takes place at social events which seem to involve lots of drinking, rock music and “spanking booths”!

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I first saw these pictures of rollergirls’ spanking booths on Spanker Bryan’s blog. They’re using serious paddles, complete with messages painted onto them and drilled holes. This makes me think that this form of entertainment probably arose from a cross-over with college fraternity and sorority traditions.

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As mentioned above, roller derby has had a big revival in recent years and it’s popularity has spread to other parts of the world including the UK, where there are now leagues in the major cities.

Londonrollergirls were established in 2007, and I checked out their website to see how the rituals associated with this cultural import are being assimilated in Britain. Or to put it another way – to try to find some spanking pics!

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Sure enough, on 30th December 2007, in a bar in London’s trendy Camden Town what may well have been the UK’s first ever roller derby spanking booth officially opened its doors for business. This picture makes it look like a brand of lager was sponsoring the event!

The only problem was deciding what implement to use. Sorority spanking paddles are a bit thin on the ground in NW1. You can’t really see it but the guy above is swinging a quite heavy strap.

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Their hockey sticks also came in handy, but which end do you use?

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The blonde seems to have got it right using the “wrong” end a bit like a cane. All the same, they must have found this to be a rather bruising and unsubtle tool for the job.

Eventually national stereotypes reasserted themselves and someone produced a, rather weedy looking, crook-handled cane. Probably from the fancy-dress shop down the road.

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Surely no one could use that the wrong way round.

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Doh!

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Again it’s hard to see, but the chick in the pink is now wielding an Anne Summers style riding crop. She is definitely into her spanking as she seems to be in nearly every pic.

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This redhead looks a bit nervous, and for good reason.

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She’s going to get the lot! – all at the same time!

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Whack! Whack! Whack! The same laws are operating here as in any school playground. That’s what you get for being ginger I’m afraid!

Teething problems aside, the spanking booth was an overall winner, at least according to the write up on the website:

“The event was a great success, the bands were excellent, the spanking booth was a little more succesful and popular than we imagined, and the rollergirls raised some funds to go towards our first public bout.”

Later some interesting extra details emerged:

“The much anticipated LRG spanking booth went over hugely well, Jezebel Propaganda and Lady Frankenstein ruled the stage, turning into a fun and hilarious macho contest of who could hold out for the harshest whoopin’, guys and girls alike went up for the challenge.

Best results I’ve seen so far? While I have a heck of a nasty bruising it pales to the black and purple shiners gracing the bum of Ala, lovely specimen of body mod art and new LRG recruit that she is!

I was going to provide a link to the page where I found these pics, but a large number of them were of the guys getting spanked so I decided against it.

The men were all made to bare their butts too, but this is the only one I found where a roller girl at least drops her strides. Could it be the unfortunate Ala?

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Love the tense anticipation captured in her pose, (and her buttocks!). Go grrrrl!!

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Banned in Beijing!

A bemused email arrived yesterday from a (presumably Olympics-bound) reader:

“THIS IS WEIRD: I’m in Beijing (landed this morning) and I can’t open your or Chross’s blog. Everything else seems to be working fine – you might be censored here….”

This was soon followed by another:

“It’s now official! I can open anything on the web except for you and Chross…”

Perhaps therefore it’s just as well for the Chinese authorities that spanking has not yet become an Olympic sport as envisaged by a spoof set of rules for the 28th Spanking Olympiad written by Haley Brimley.

There are six Spanking Olympic sports: Sprint, Struggle, Marathon, Implement, Figure and Relay. I think the Struggle would be my personal highlight of the games – lots of squirming as well as spanking. The “Wild Struggle” – a cross between wrestling and spanking sounds good too. I’ve included a short extract here, but you should download the whole thing if you want a good laugh (link below). Spanking satire at it’s finest.

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STRUGGLE

This sport requires the spankee to not submit voluntarily to the spanking, but rather try and escape from it. Spankers win if they manage to deliver at least fifteen smacks within the predetermined time limit. Spankees win if the spankers do not manage. This makes it automatically a game for singles competing one-on-one, and not for couples.

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There is no discrimination based on sex: athletes can meet opponents of their own sex or of the other. However, three basic distinctions are made: Age, Weight and Role. Age: “M” and “F” athletes compete in the Senior category. “m” and “f” athletes compete in the Junior category. No exceptions allowed under any circumstances.

Weight: every athlete can only compete in his or her weight category. Weight categories go as listed above.

The Age rule still applies.
Role: the distinction made is basic. Every athlete is either a Spanker or a Spankee. Again, being “M”, “F”, “m” or “f” is irrelevant: there can be M/F or m/f or F/F pairings, and so on, provided that the Age and Weight rules still apply.

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Throughout the competitions and categories, the goal of the Struggle is always the same:the spanker must try and deliver fifteen smacks to the spankee within the given time limit, starting and ending with a Referee’s signal. For a spank to count as delivered, it must be applied with a force of at least 500g (approx. 1 oz.) for Seniors and of at least
350g (approx. 0,75 oz.) for Juniors. Such force is measured by an electrified support that the spanker must wear on his or her hand.

Struggle – In the main, weight-based competitions, spankees start the game over the spankers’ lap, and they must try and struggle free within the allowed minute – or at least to squirm in such fashion that the spanker’s attempt to deliver fifteen proper smacks fails. 32 athletes are admitted to each of these competitions. Paired in twos, 16 advance
to second round. Again paired, 8 advance to quarterfinals, the winners of which proceed to semi-finals. Finals for 1st place, and the 3rd place bout, are then held.

Wild Struggle – This competition is different. The given time is two minutes instead of one. Spanker and spankee start from opposite sides of the same room, and before trying to deliver the required fifteen smacks, the spanker must first take a hold of the spankee. Contrarily to other competitions, the position in which the spanks are delivered is irrele-
vant: standing, crouching, laying, sitting, in mid-air… there is no difference. The road to the finals is the same as in the regular Struggle.

The Struggle in general is the only Olympic sports where people playing in two different roles can prevail. In other words, the finals for the 1st place is held between a spanker and a spankee, only one of which will prevail. So far, in the previous 27 editions of the Spanking Olympics a spankee has obtained victory in fifteen occasions. Eighteen times
out of twenty-seven the podium has seen two spankers, meaning that the 3rd place bout is often won by an athlete of this role.

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At the start of each round, athletes form two pools, one for spankers and one for spankees. From there, they are picked at random to form pairs. Should, at any time, the number of available spankers and spankees be odd and not even, those athletes who lost the
previous round with the lowest score differential will benefit from a repechage.

NOTABLE WORLD RECORDS

At the 24th Spanking Olympics of 1956, in Riyadh, the great local mistress Saifa Al Sadehr (SAU) won four out of five Struggle categories for Seniors; she had the best over 11 male spankees and 8 females; in the Wild Struggle finals she was defeated by Anyanka Privalova (URS).
The most successful struggling spankee was Stefan Olsson (SWE), who won the Wild Struggle in three consecutive Olympics, from 1924 through 1932 (in Helsinki, Malmö,Tokyo/Osaka). He also won five other miscellaneous competitions in the same years.

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In Montevideo 1980, 14-year-old identical twins Costinha Pedro and Ana Lucilla da Rosa (BRA) met in the finals of the 66-80kg Struggle for Juniors, and also in the finals of the Wild Struggle for Juniors. Lucilla (spankee) won both times. She was nicknamed “The Squish” for her ability to escape everyone’s grab in less than two seconds. A hand-
ful for her parents, indeed!

Download the full “Official Handbook of the Spanking Olympics” here.

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Maria Sharapova’s Out of View Panties

All the most crucial coverage from Wimbledon this year has been about Maria Sharapova’s shorts. She decided to ditch the skirts, meaning that the tabloids haven’t been able to publish pictures of her undies – probably for the first time since she started playing the tournament.

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And where’s the fun in that? Women’s tennis isn’t about rallies, serves and volleys – it’s about soft porn!

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What goes around comes around: 1949 – 2008

So here’s a little something for those misty-eyed with nostalgia for the days when women tennis player’s briefs really were brief, and Martina Hingis’ panties reined supreme, as the finest sight in the women’s game.

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I don’t know who put this montage together, but they clearly deserve some kind of award for services to pervery.

If you’re missing your annual dose of the leggy Russian lovely’s lingerie however, hope is at hand.

She’s already been knocked out of the tournament by Alla Kudryavtseva, who is ranked No.154 in the world and is described as “not one of the glamour girls of tennis”. She said that Sharapova’s status as a fashion icon had got under her skin.

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How the down-to-earth daughter of a wrestler bristled when she set eyes on the pampered golden girl with the fashionable gear on the other side of the net:

“Taking down Sharapova is a big, big deal for me. It’s very pleasant to beat Maria. I don’t like her outfit. I don’t like the way it looks, and I don’t like all that fashion stuff. Can I put it this way? It was one of my motivations to beat her.”

“Taking down” – an interesting choice of words. Does she mean:

  • beating her at tennis
  • humiliating her by “taking her down” a peg or two
  • or “taking down” those irksome shorts and applying a much needed spanking to her bare bottom!
  • a combination of all three!

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So in the event, the shorts weren’t exactly lucky shorts were they?

That’s why I expect Maria Sharapova’s panties to be back on full view in all their headline grabbing glory next year – with more telescopic lenses than ever trained on her pert athletic buttocks as her skirt flips up each time she serves.

Alternatively, she could show some contrition for her hubris by walking onto centre court before her first game and adopting the same pose as Jelena Jankovich here.

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Then the photographers could all get their picture, and the game could begin.

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Some more tennis related goodies:

One for lovers of regulation green knickers, I spotted this picture on the Graham Norton chat show last week, and I’ve tracked it down on the net. It dates from 1994, and shows Martina Navratilova apparently lusting after a ball girl’s bottom. It would have made a great addition to my Watch the Booty post.

And this is one of the better attempts to recreate the iconic Athena tennis-girl poster courtesy of Zoo magazine. The model is Charlotte Mckenna.

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Gotta Love Wii Fit

Boyfriend makes his girl’s hula-hooping butt a Wii Fit YouTube star:

With 2 million views and counting in just 2 weeks, Giovanny Gutierrez’s girlfriend Lauren Bernat is the latest YouTube star.

She was unaware she was being filmed by her boyfriend gyrating her hips as she tries to keep virtual hula hoops swinging on Nintendo’s Wii Fit game. He then posted it on the video website without her knowledge.

Slender Miss Bernat wiggles her bottom wearing tight stripy black and grey knickers, a golden yellow t-shirt and secretary-style glasses. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail.

Titled simply Why every guy should buy their girlfriend Wii Fit, it’s a pretty convincing argument.

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Watch The Booty

With the Monaco Grand Prix, and the Champions League Final in Moscow dominating the headlines here, I was thinking that the sports category of this site doesn’t have many entries. Evidently stories that link sport and spanking are not that easy to come by. WWF wrestling often has some rather basic otk action, and there are plenty of clips knocking around the internet of varying quality.

Tales of athletes and tennis players being spanked by their coaches surface occasionaly. This is an artist’s impression:

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and this is for real:

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But after spanking itself, what’s the next best past-time? Bottom-watching of course!

The world of sport provides loads of opportunities for that , and if the game itself is rather dull, you can always take your eye off the ball, as David Beckham demonstrates here whilst attending a basketball match.

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Any sport that involves riding and saddles is bound to also feature bottoms fairly prominently. Though not usually quite as prominently as in these pictures of naked cycling and horse-riding events.

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Up for the crack

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Up at the crack

Imagine the red sore bottoms after this dawn ride through London’s Hyde Park, which took place last week.

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Even when fully clothed, horse-riders can’t seem to keep their behinds out of the spotlight. Not even royal ones such as Zara Philips:

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“Does one’s bum look big in this?”

Staying in London, two highlights of the capital’s sporting year are the marathon, which one contestant ran this year in black underwear.

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And of course Wimbledon, where only white underwear is tolerated. After Tatiana Golovin appeared in red panties last year, I am expecting compulsory centre court underwear checks to be introduced in the same way that footballers have their studs examined before taking the field.

Pantie-check Miss Dokic, please,”

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“Thankyou.”

Finally, a trip to the swimming pool is always a safe bet for those interested in top quality sporting action.

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Who does this guy think he is…David Beckham?

Awards of the Year – Sport & Fashion Categories

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Most Spankable Sportswoman: Maria Sharapova

Also nominated: Tatiana Golovin, Martina Hingis, The Williams Sisters, (if you have any nominations for spankable sportswomen who aren’t tennis players, I would like to hear them.)

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Lifetime Achievement Award: Chris Evert

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Most Spankable Model (U.K): Lily Cole

Also nominated: Keeley Hazel, Abigail Clancy, Gemma Atkinson

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Most Spankable model (overseas): Miranda Kerr

Also nominated: Carmen Elektra, Vida Guerra, Gisele Bundchen.

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Lifetime Achievement Award: Cindy Crawford


Blue is the Colour, Spanking is the Game

Avram Grant, the replacement for Jose Mourinho as coach of Chelsea F.C., comes complete with a wife who is a television star in their native Israel.

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Tzofit Grant was an actress, but got her big break when she became co-host of Milkshake. Originally a daytime magazine show, it moved to a late night slot when it began to include more risqué items.

According to today’s Sunday Times, she once appeared with a sadomasochist and allowed him to spank her live on air.

The article quoted fellow Israeli TV personality Uri Geller as saying:

“She is a big star in Israel. She has a large personality and had a terrific talk show.”

This is great news for the tabloids who, smarting at the loss of Jose Mourinho, will be desperate for a colourful character to replace him.

In this picture, she is shown drinking her own urine as a stunt on the show. The article also included pictures of her bathing in chocolate and spaghetti. But not getting spanked.

But I’m sure it won’t be the last we hear of this story. Expect  News of the World  hacks to have come up with those Tzofit gets a spanking! pictures by next Sunday.

Bend Over Like Beckham?

I mentioned the Women’s Soccer World Cup finals in passing a few weeks back, and they kick off today in China. This picture shows members of the U.S. team bending over and having the ball booted at their behinds as a forfeit for being on the losing side in a training match.

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Is this spanking? Some purists may disagree, but the effectiveness of these methods will be put to the test when the U.S.A. play the opening game of their campaign against North Korea tomorrow. If they’re losing at half-time, expect to see their coach practicing his David Beckham style dead ball skills.

The Williams Sisters

I’ve had a comment from a reader who was disappointed that my post Wimbledon-Some Brief News failed to make any mention of the Williams sisters. Although they’re not to everyone’s taste, I have to admit that this is a fair criticism. They’ve contributed greatly to the um…scenery at Wimbledon in recent years.

Had I realised just how many folks were going to visit this blog to read the post, I might have made it a bit longer, in which case they would have been included.

Wimbledon might be over now, but since I like to give my readers what they want (and women tennis player’s bottoms seem pretty high on your list), here’s four pictures of Serena Williams showing an absoluely awesome butt crack above the top of her jeans. Her body shape was just made for this fashion trend. In fact she doesn’t even need to wear low-cut jeans in order to pull it off! (Click to enlarge)

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The other picture also happens to be of Serena. It shows a controversial incident from this year’s tournament when she was injured whilst playing Daniella Hantuchova (I didn’t mention her either!). It provided a great excuse for the photographers to zoom in on her underwear, as if they needed one. But she was accused in some quarters of faking this injury.

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I don’t really have an opinion on the injury, fake or not, but what I think we can all agree on is that Serena has a 100%, totally genuine, bona fide….ASS!