Category Archives: Television

Spanking New Role for Kathleen McDermott

movern callar 4Kathleen McDermott (on the right in this pic) is an up and coming Scottish actress who was in the 2002 film Morvern Callar, in which she starred with the equally young and talented Samantha Morton.

Now she is to appear in a controversial new Channel 4 comedy film written by Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting) called Wedding Belles . It tells the story of four life-long friends in their late twenties as they prepare for a wedding in Edinburgh. She plays Shaz who works in an old people’s home and sells black-market Viagra to the residents.

Apparently there is a scene in which her character spanks a priest with a table tennis bat. Her description makes it sound quite explicit:

Brendan, the actor, and myself are both Catholics so it did feel a bit strange. But he wanted to make it as realistic as possible, so he kept on telling me really to go for it. By the end of the third take his backside was purple.”

Expect this to really hit the headlines when it is aired later this month. Let’s hope for two things though:

  1. Channel 4 doesn’t “pull” the scene. Since the Celebrity Big Brother racism row they’re very sensitive to criticism, and recently scrapped a scheduled week of programmes about masturbation.
  2. The tables are turned, and the Catholic priest uses the ping pong bat to teach Shaz a lesson about the sin of dealing drugs on the black market!

Caning Debate on TV

My Fear of Getting the Cane by Jenny Agutter

0077 Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff debated the issue of caning last Friday. The debate was sparked by press reports that Coleen Nolan has said she wants to see the cane reintroduced to British schools – twenty years after it was banned. She was speaking in the wake of a new poll conducted by Mori which has shown that a majority of parents favour a return to corporal punishment. This story was also covered by The Daily Telegraph complete with many interesting comments. Coleen, who appears on the Loose Women show on ITV, says if a teacher gave her kids the cane she’d probably go in and shake their hand!

What fun host Matthew Wright had with two canes that he had been given as props! Brandishing them with relish at the start of the show, he told every one to be on their best behaviour or else! The guest panel consisted of Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, Len Goodman and actress Jenny Agutter.agutter2  When Jenny Agutter said she had trouble getting up in the morning after late nights in the theatre, Mathew picked up his cane and said “just think of this!” Jenny replied “yes, I’ll have to think of getting the cane!”

But why were there two canes on Matthew’s desk? He explained that they were genuine former school canes and that one was a junior cane, used on smaller children, and the other was for senior pupils.

Strictly Come Dancing judge Len Goodman told a story about the time he received twelve strokes, an unusually large number, for stealing a bike and then lying about it. Not surprisingly, the majority of callers on the show were in favour of caning being reinstated. And our Len, undeterred by his own experiences, favoured bringing back the birch too. He was realistic enough to point out that it ain’t going to happen though.

As for the demure Jenny Agutter – smaller class sizes are the answer apparently. A harassed female teacher from Birmingham, who wanted to be able to use the cane, was less than impressed with her liberal arguments. Perhaps she could be persuaded to quit teaching and take a job as Ms Agutter’s personal assistant with special responsibility for getting her out of bed in the morning!

Tara Palmer-Tompkinson

Tara: I’ll Need a Good Spanking

Tara Palmer Tomkinson Naughty It-Girl (do we still call her that?), Tara Palmer Tompkinson wants some discipline in the Fame Academy. She has vowed to be a rebellious student when she is locked inside the music school for the celebrity version of the reality show that starts on Saturday on BBC1.

According to a tabloid newspaper Tara, 35, said:

If Richard calls me in for a spanking, I won’t mind – but he’d better watch out. I want to be the one doing the spanking! I went to boarding school so I know what it’s like. . .

At this point as you can imagine I was on the edge of the seat. Was Tara about to tell us about some punishment that she received at boarding school. Unfortunately, she carried on “…being locked away for ages.”

Oh well, in addition to Tara, the show also features the lovely Blue Peter presenter Zoe Salmon. Let’s hope headmaster Richard Park takes up Tara’s challenge and introduces corporal punishment into the Fame Academy. It would certainly liven up the show which needs all the viewers it can get because it’s in aid of Comic Relief. Perhaps we could have some red bottoms instead of red noses this year!