The 1980s wasn’t a very productive period for mainstream spanking. This was the decade when political correctness was at it’s height, and, with no internet to help, you had to look very hard indeed to find anything very exciting.
There were some notable exceptions, especially if you were into caning rather than spanking. The Happy Valley and Frank and I both contained multiple caning scenes. Lady Jane was made in this period too, whilst in Europe Serie Rose provided some scenes which are only now being widely viewed via the net.
But these all have one thing in common. They are period or costume dramas – none of them are contemporary.
Where were the spankings of women wearing the distinctive clothes and hairstyles of the period?
Soap operas such as Dallas and Dynasty teased, but never delivered.
In music, Madonna was at her most provocative, but her song Hanky Panky was not released until 1990. And in any case she was only singing about it, we never saw her actually getting it.
Whilst a certain royal princess should perhaps no longer be mentioned in this context, she inspired plenty of highly spankable clones all with her shy downcast eyes and trademark hairstyle. In the UK, newsreader Selina Scott was one of the most high profile examples.
In the U.S., there was the sit-com Cheers, about which I received an e-mail recently. You probably recall that it featured Shelley Long as the character Diane Chambers.
My e-mailer wrote:
Anyone, and I mean anyone, who ever saw the great episodes of Cheers when Shelley Long was the barmaid must have come to the conclusion that she was in for a spanking.
Obnoxious, pretentious but painfully cute she should have been across barkeeper Sam Malone’s knees more than once.
In one episode she and Malone plays ping-pong and – she cheats. When he doesn’t want to play anymore she promises not to cheat, but does it right away. As he growls with anger and comes after her, she runs away and when the credits start rolling we hear a loud smack, she shrieks and he says:
– That’s why they call them paddles.
What a shame it happened off camera.
What a shame indeed. But not surprising. This was the Eighties: The-Decade-That-Spanking-Forgot.
Or did it?
We shall see, because I’ve decided to make this “Eighties Week” on The Spank Statement. I’ve got a few treats lined up, including a special edition of “Celebrities Who Want To Be Spanking Models”, a recognisably Eighties bare bottom spanking film clip, and more.
It should be mullet-tastic, so stay tuned.