Spanking Vicars and Priests

Ooh Vicar! More Tea Vicar? Vicar in a Tutu! The comedy catchphrases pretty much roll off the tongue. Why do tales of naughty vicars, pervy priests, randy rectors and cross-dressing cardinals tickle our fancy so much? They are a rich part of our comic tradition, and when there’s a bit of spanking involved, it just makes it all the funnier.

In January 1956, there was a report about the case of the Rev Richard Smart, who undressed and then spanked a bride-to-be in his vestry. Given something of a talking-to by his bishop, he claimed he was only trying to inculcate a sense of religious duty in the lass. This was was served up by the British newspapers as titillation for the masses long before the days of Max Mosely.

But did the Bishop really disapprove, I find myself thinking? Or did he hypocritically arrange a private visit to the vestry for tea (of course) and a further spanking session with a wayward young female parishioner? A scene that this excellent drawing could well be illustrating.

If the Rev Smart had been a Catholic he might have appreciated his calling even more. The cartoon below suggests that Catholic priests used the excuse of the confessional for a similar purpose. When your job is to occupy the moral high ground, opportunities to administer a spanking or two must present themselves on a regular basis.

Again we get a disapproving bishop and a good laugh out of the priest’s predicament.

The finest example of a spanking priest in movies has to be Father Fogerty, played by Joseph Tatner in campy horror comedy Halfway House (2004).

The Mary Magdalen Halfway House is a creepy Catholic “home” for at-risk young ladies. While snooping around, new blonde student Larissa discovers Father Fogerty’s secret stash of fetish mags and spanking implements in a cupboard. It turns out this priest never misses a chance to make an erring young woman pull her skirt up, her panties down, and bend over his desk so he can use a paddle with ‘JESUS’ stenciled on it to pinken their tight, tender behinds.

Father Fogarty likes to make his charges repeat the phrase “The Power of Christ compels me” after each stroke of his paddle. The handsome Tatner always has a gleam in his eye and a lugubrious smile as he spanks some round and pretty bare butts.

In real life, Tatner is a practicing Roman Catholic and once studied for that church’s seminary. He used his own uniform from those days in the movie.

I know this because he gave an interesting interview to Denise Noe at Literotica.com, in which he also talked about the psychological motivations of the Father Fogerty character as well as the actual filming of the spankings.

DN: What was most challenging about playing Father Fogerty?

JT: I created his character thinking of someone who watched “Father Knows Best” and “Going My Way” too many times growing up. He identifies with and sees himself as these totally wholesome, “perfect” characters so he really thinks he can’t be doing anything wrong. He’s trying to live his life the way it would happen on a ’50s TV show. Of course, the fifties are over and his own little world doesn’t exist. Still, for all his faults, he really does have courage and is concerned for these girls.

DN: How do you feel about playing a spankophile?

JT: I don’t really see Fr. Fogerty as a “spankophile” I think of him more like a parent who says, “I’m doing this for your own good.” I see him as very clinical. He studies from all sorts of source material and applies what he learns. He probably writes notes afterwards on the effects different punishments have on the girls. The real evil in this world is often done by people who never see it in themselves but point the finger at everyone else.

DN: Did you enjoy doing scenes with pretty actresses bent over and bare bottomed?

JT: Actually, I got to see very little of that. To protect the safety of the actresses, all I was looking at was a thick piece of foam rubber taped over their butts when I paddled. The one exception was the very brief scene where you actually see the girls from behind. I pulled back and barely hit the girls, except for Tomy X, who specifically asked me to really whack her. So I gave her the best shot on the last paddle. She appreciated it.

So there you have it from the horse’s mouth. Tomy X, the actress who “appreciated” being really whacked without any protection, is on the left in this picture (and on the right in the video clip). The other actress, who was (not really) paddled alongside her, is Saye Yebandeh.

In another scene, Larissa is called to the priest’s office. He tells her to “lean against the desk and repeat after me…”

She looks shocked but we then cut to the room of her friend the sweet natured “Cherry Pie” Pulowski. Larissa enters clutching her behind and tells Cherry Pie that she “just went 10 rounds with Father Fuckhead and his holy paddle of discipline!!”

Cherry tells her to sit down but she says: “I don’t think I’ll be sitting for a while!”

Janet Tracy Keijser as Larissa

A third scene features Cherry Pie herself played by Stephanie Leighs. With sadistic relish, Father Fogarty says to her:

“Miss Pulowski, may I see you in my office please…NOW!

We only hear the swats landing as a nun listens outside the door. The chastened Cherry Pie then emerges clutching her burning bottom. She is watched with intense satisfaction by the nun as she runs off sobbing down the hallway.

Cherry Pie Cheeks

Of course “Spanking Nuns” is a whole genre of its own, so watch out for another post on that theme.