Hustle

I think I saw the perfect one smacker on TV last night. It was in Hustle, a BBC comedy drama about a gang of con artists.

A pretty blonde, played by Jessica Philips, brings her boss a drink in his office. She bends over the table at an ideal angle, and he lands a hard smack with a sound effect heightening the sense of impact. The film then pauses briefly; as if to add an exclamation mark. Without saying anything, she walks back out of the room facing the camera. I particularly like the closing shot of her doing the “walk of shame” (with burning cheeks!)

UPDATE:

The link I gave only worked for UK residents so Chross has grabbed the clip and put it on YouTube here.

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The Wrong Way Back

Many thanks to Harry for sending me this account of a 1960s TV spanking:

A play called The Wrong Way Back, written by Robert Phillips and directed by Morris Barry, was shown by the BBC on July 13 1962. Sadly, it will never be seen again because the tape has been wiped… but thanks to the script, here’s what happened.

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The scenario is that a young woman, Annie (played by Patricia Haines) is having an affair with an older man, Ted (played by Nigel Davenport). We start with an establishing shot of the living room:

Ted is poking the fire. He stands up as Annie comes in and, taking a tea from her, he warms his backside in front of the fire. The shot changes to a closer shot of Annie. She stands beside him. He gazes ahead thoughtfully. She glances up at him now and then. She looks down between his legs. The shot changes to a two-shot of her and Ted:

ANNIE: That fire is alight, innit?
TED: Hm…?
ANNIE: You’re always warming your backside.
TED: Well… if it gets cold…?
ANNIE: Well, move over.

She edges him sideways with her hip.

TED: Belt up! You’re spilling my tea. Look, I’ll warm yours if you’re not careful.

Annie looks him up and down. She smirks contemptuously.

ANNIE: Phooey. Do you reckon you could? (She slaps his belly.) You’re all fat and flabby.
TED (wagging a warning finger): Now look….

She grabs his finger and makes a soppy face at him.

TED (trying to pull his finger out): Now come out of it…

They put their teas on the mantlepiece and a sort of struggle ensues. He chases her around the settee.

TED: You’ll go across my knee. I’m telling you.
ANNIE (laughing): Oh… big man!

They struggle and fall onto the settee. The shot changes to another medium two-shot. Ted turns her a bit.

ANNIE: Okay. Game over.
TED: I’ll give you game over.
ANNIE: I’ve got to do the washing up.
TED: Oh, yes, and that’s another thing. All that washing up you left me last night.
ANNIE: Well, that’s your fault.
TED: Mine! Why?
ANNIE: You should’ve put your foot down, shouldn’t you?
TED: Whaddaya mean? Do you want me to beat you all the time?
ANNIE: Would that be such a bad thing?

She rises. He does too. He gazes at her and almost cocks his head.

ANNIE: Would it…?

She suddenly starts to struggle.

ANNIE (changing her mood): What I object to is you hogging the fire all the time.
TED Right. You’re asking for it.

They struggle and fight. Ted manages to get her twisted round over his knee. As she goes across his knee, the shot changes to a closeup of her face. Ted slaps her. She howls.

TED (satisfied with himself): There!

The shot changes to a two-shot as, still across his knee, she turns up to look at him. They are both panting a bit. She squirms round and they are both face to face. They kiss suddenly and fiercely. As they separate, Annie buries her face into his chest and Ted looks down at her.

TED (relaxing a bit): I can see I’ll have to take you in hand more often. It’s what you need.
ANNIE: It’s what all women need.

The shot changes to a closeup of Ted.

TED: Yeah. Maybe you’re right.

And the moment is broken with a knock at the door…

This wasn’t the last time Patricia Haines had her bottom smacked on screen, either. In the 1969 big screen thriller The Last Shot You Hear , the title sequence shows her frolicking in the park with her man… and at one point he bends her over and gives her a couple playful slaps.

Even more tangentially, there is also her guest appearance in The Avengers in 1967, when she played Lola the Russian spy. There is a scene where Lola is caught bending over, and gets a smart, open handed smack on her curvaceous rear … but this was the bodyswap episode, entitled Who’s Who…?, so the bottom which was smacked belonged not to Patricia Haines but none other than the eminently spankable Diana Rigg!

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Tall in the Saddle

Elizabeth Risdon was 57 when she went across the knee of Gabby Hayes in a publicity still for the 1944 Western Tall in the Saddle. There was just a threat in the movie itself, so she can’t strictly lay claim to the title of celluloid’s most senior spankee.

tall in the saddle 001

Never Too Old!

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New La Fille Mal Gardee

This version of the ballet with a spanking comes from Italy in 2008. After a nice build up, it fades out annoyingly just before the dancer playing the incorrigible Lise is taken over the knee.

But it then reappears with the spanking in full flow! Lise kicks nicely as the Widow lands one decent spank before the usual interruption. But there could have been more…

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Christine Kaufmann and Vera Farmiga

I’ve had a few comments about the new header image, all positive I’m glad to say. JS was even inspired to send me some shots of German actress Christine Kaufmann in a similar pose:

“After seeing your new header, I thought I’d share a couple of similar shots of one of my boyhood crushes, the meltingly beautiful Christine Kaufmann. These are from her 1983 film Die wilden fuenfziger (The Wild Fifties) when she was about 38 — they are obviously mirror-imaged.

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If you’re not familiar, Christine was in her teens in the early 60’s and poised for international stardom. She made a bunch of costume pics, though her highest profile role was as the rape-victim opposite Kirk Douglas in A Town without Pity. (No one has ever played “vulnerable innocence” quite like the young Christine.)

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She met and married Tony Curtis, however, and took a few years off to have kids, and when she split from Tony and went back to work, her moment had passed. She has worked steadily since in Europe, but virtually nothing seen internationally.

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AFAIK, she was never spanked on-screen (though the kinds of characters she played … anyone who laid a hand on her oughta be shot). At least we have these pics.

*****

Vera Farmiga has revealed that she used a butt double for a love scene with George Clooney in Up In The Air.

In the scene , she lies naked on a bed with her bottom showing and a topless George stretching out on the floor beneath her.

I had shot this when I had six pounds more chunk on my behind. I did attempt to do the nude scene but I think my bottom had become too large. I got to help choose my body double,

From Running Scared to Never Forever to The Departed, I’ve mooned audiences my whole life, and I just think it wasn’t appropriate given the situation.

It’s quite unusual, and very helpful, for an actress to provide us with a list of her own screen mooning moments. I’ve never seen any of the three films she mentions, but some further research suggests that Running Scared was probably her finest performance…

Vera Farmiga Running Scared

The Genuine Article

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Simon Cowell Spanks Cheryl Cole

At last night’s National Television Awards, as Cheryl was signing some autographs, Simon Cowell crept up behind her and gave her a sharp tap on the behind.

I don’t know if you would strictly call it a spanking, but that didn’t stop one TV show from running the clip to the soundtrack of Madonna’s Hanky Panky. So I guess I’m not the only one guilty of a little exaggeration.

Anyway judge for yourselves 52 seconds into this YouTube video

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Seren Gibson Spanked

I found this tasty picture on Front magazine’s website. It was their Picture of the Day (yesterday) and simply labelled “What’s Going On Here Then?”

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It was taken at Front’s Christmas party event, and although you can’t see her face, the nude spankee is super hot glamour model Seren Gibson.

seren gibson front

She’s a regular cover star of Front and other similar mags.

Seren Gibson Front MagazineSeren Gibson 001

I also stumbled across this shot of Hettie, one of the other models in the top pic. It’s strongly suggestive of OTK even though the spanker is invisible!

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Front regularly features the wonderful work of photographer Zoe McConnell, who excells in similar shots of fresh young models with their bottoms sticking up in the air!

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Lots more lovely Zoe McConnell pictures can be seen on her website zoemcconnellphotography.com. No spanking ones though…so far.

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Bruno Fischer’s The Fast Buck

This favourite from the library of Murray Roberts features a rare spanking from a US ‘hard-boiled’ crime writer.

Lorraine goads our hero into giving her a good spanking
over her thin, figure hugging pyjamas. They discuss the matter a week later in an
interesting post-event coda. The book was published in 1952.

The Fast Buck“You’re not a shaggy brute after all. Frankly, I’m disappointed.”

Mocking me. Always mocking me. I jumped up. I needed both hands free for what I wanted to do. At the other end of the sofa was a table and there I put my glass down. When I turned to her, she said, “You may kiss me.”

I had been about to anyway, by force, but now she was waiting with her heart-shaped face turned up. I put my hands on her shoulders and kissed her. Her mouth felt as soft as it looked. Then her arms went around me and I wasn’t peeved any more. Every thing was all right, it was fine, and my hands slid on the silk covering her back.

Her mouth trailed past the corner of my mouth and up to my cheek, and all of a sudden she bit me. Her teeth clamped on the fleshy part of my nose and dug in. I rid to shove her away. I couldn’t break the rip of those sharp teeth. I grabbed her shoulders and squeezed. She writhed, her body against mine, her breasts pressing against me through the silk. I squeezed her shoulders harder, hurting her as much as her teeth were hurting me. She yelled then with pain, and she lost her grip, and I shoved her away from me.

I stood rubbing my nose. “What the hell’s the matter with you?” I said. “you crazy?”

Lorraine was laughing as if this was the funniest thing that had ever happened. then she said, “I was trying to straighten your nose out for you,” and turned her back to me and picked up her glass.

How much could a man take? She admitted scheming to get me up here to her apartment and she was wearing nothing under the thin pyjamas. She steamed me up by unbuttoning my shirt and letting me caress her, but it was only to make fun of me. She told me to kiss her, but it was only so she could get her teeth on my nose and bite it and then made a nasty crack about it. A teaser. Did she think she was so good looking and so rich she could keep making fun of me? I knew what she needed.

I jumped at her. Her back was still turned to me. She was no lightweight, but neither was I, and I lifted her clean off her feet. The glass fell out of her hand. She tore at my hair as I carried her to the sofa.

Holding on to her, I dropped down on the sofa. She kept battling. I pulled her arm up behind her back towards her shoulder blades. She yelped and I said, “Lay still, then,” and the fight went out of her, but only for a moment. Her thrashing started again when I pulled her across my knees. a little more pressure on her arm quietened her. She twisted her head around and to my surprise the sparkle was still in her dark eyes as she looked up at me. She thought I was one big joke, but she wouldn’t think so for long.

“What do you imagine you’re going to do?” she said, her voice taunting.

I said, “Give you what you’ve been asking for” and I brought my open hand down hard on her deeply curved flesh over which her pyjamas trousers now stretched tightly.

Her scream sounded as if she couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Her legs kicked out.

“Don’t you dare!” she screamed.

I let her have another one. In it was everything she’d built up inside me. It sounded like a pistol shot and she bucked under my palm, her legs jerking out like they were pulled on strings. The silk was like nothing, like it had melted away, the ful spread of my hand going into the soft deep flesh. It must have hurt plenty because my palm stung.

“Stop, please!”

“Three…four…five” I heard myself counting out each one aloud, but she couldn’t hear me because she was howling, and across my knees she heaved and writhed, and she clawed at me with her free hand.

“Six…seven.” The embroidered dragon on her back was doing a dance like it was alive.

“Eight,” I said, and I was finished with her. I dumped her off me by standing up, and she hit the floor like a sack of flour. She rolled over on her side and stayed there on the floor, sobbing as she rubbed her stinging flesh.

I buttoned my shirt. My nose felt on fire and the palm of my hand tingled.

“You filthy ape!” she gasped. “Get out.”

“I’m on my way,” I said. I pulled my jacked off the chair. Carrying it over my arm. I started out.

“You ugly monster! she flung after me. “You and your crooked nose. I’m sorry I didn’t bite it off.”

I didn’t look back. In the outside hall, I put on my jacket and tied my necktie. It was very quiet up there on the pent-house floor. I wiped sweat from my hands and face with my pocket handkerchief and pressed the elevator button.

*****

“I said your nose made you look virile.”

“To you it means the same thing. But in your penthouse I didn’t play the monster. Me, I was brought up to act refined with classy dames. What I don’t understand is why you got sore when I gave you a spanking if your game was to make me bat you around.”

“You walked out.”

“So if I’d stayed, there would’ve been love and kisses. is that it?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “It was humiliating being spanked like a naughty child. You were so cold and deliberate about it, and then you simply dumped me off and left. Do you know, I had welts for days?”

“That’s good.”

She raked her finger-nails across my skin and laughed when I let out a yelp. I took my hand from her hip and slapped her where a week ago I’d raised the welts.

“Now you’re acting in character,” she said happily. “And that spanking last week was in character, too. After a while it seemed quite exciting. No other man would have dared.

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The Ffinest Ffamily in the Land

This is the last in the series of Martyn’s Lost Spankings – a scene which he describes as his ultimate Holy Grail of Mainstream Spanking!

The Ffinest Ffamily in the Land, transmitted in July 1974, was a really strange story about a dysfunctional family (mum, dad and two offspring in their early 20s) who live at the top of a block of flats. On coming home from an evening out, they find themselves locked out of their flat. From what I remember, a series of conversations take place regarding how they are going to gain entrance to their abode.

Suddenly the daughter becomes hysterical and starts screaming. The father announces that he is going to spank her to calm her down. I’ve heard of instances of slapping someone on the face cheeks to bring them out of hysteria but never the bottom cheeks! But he does just that – he sits down on the stairway, pulls her over his knee, raises her short mini skirt and spanks the seat of her panties about a dozen times. The scene is interjected with shots of the mother (Dandy Nicholls) and son watching in shocked amazement – well you would wouldn’t you!?

That is how I remember this rather good scene, but as I only saw it the once back in 1974, I hope I have not embellished it. But I don’t think I have, it was sort of burnt into my mind’s eye.

This is my Holy Grail of mainstream spanking. I would be very pleased to hear from anyone who can actually remember seeing it. I have yet to find a living soul who remembers it, and I’m starting to believe that I dreamt the whole thing. In fact if anyone can add too or correct anything I have written on any of the above I would be very grateful.

When I first got onto the internet about 10 years ago, I tried to find out some more info about the scene I had witnessed back in 1974. Firstly I had no idea what the play was called or any of the actors in it. The girl who was spanked in the play, I remembered was in a series called The Life of Riley .

When I discovered the website IMDb.com I looked this programme up and worked out that the girl was Susan Littler. I then went to her page to discover only about 7 credits (now there are 27 and quite a few more to be added). She was best remembered in her TV work for her portrayal of Vivian Nicholson the big football pools winner of the 60s in a play called Spend Spend Spend. She was a real cracker, who also occasionally appeared in The Liverbirds and The Lovers – two series of around that time.

Susan Littler Spend

Susan Littler in Spend Spend Spend

But to my horror, I also discovered that Susan had died in 1982. Obviously I never knew her, but bizarrely I felt that something from my past had been taken away. I was determined to find out more about the play if I could.

Several years ago in correspondence with Murray Roberts, I described the scene and even though he hadn’t seen it, he knew it was from a play called the Ffinest Ffamily in the Land. (note the two ‘f’s, not a spelling mistake) by a man called Henry Livings .

Murray also sent me the script of the play. Armed with this knowledge, I continued to scan the net and found the CV of a very attractive actress who played the spankee part in a production at a Nottingham theatre, but nothing else.

Over the last few years, I have put messages on IMDb to try and find out if anyone else had seen the play but nothing came back. About three weeks ago, I had another search and bingo! Someone had placed all the details of Of FFITL on the Britmovie.com chat forum (fate or what!). It sounds like there is a tape existing of the play as one message intimates that they might show it at a member’s event in the future.

Update: Since receiving this piece from Martyn, I have been able to put him in touch with another Spank Statement reader who also remembers seeing this scene.

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Goodbye “Cybill”, Hello Jodie

I’m going to replace the header image of the blog  soon. The start of a new year seems as good a time as any to freshen things up a bit.

susannah constantine

When I first started using the current one, a reader wrote to say the model’s hair reminded him of Cybill Shepherd. It’s actually fashion commentator Susannah Constantine, but he was spot on in terms of the comparison.

Cybill never looked more beautifully coiffeured than in her 1971 film The Last Picture Show. Filmed in black and white as if in the period in which it was set (1950s), she also showcases the classic teenage fashions of the period to perfection. She plays Jacy Farrow the prettiest, wealthiest and most spankable girl in town.

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There wasn’t a scene in which she got spanked unfortunately, but there was some nudity. In fact, she does a complete strip-teese on a swimming pool diving board! The memorable scene has quite a unique blend of comedy and eroticism about it, but the ultimate “money shot” is her breasts. There’s the slightest hint of butt crack as she lowers her large white granny panties, but that’s all.

Later however, in a bedroom scene, the director Peter Bogdanovich allows us a wonderful shot of the other side of the twenty year-old Cybill. She was appearing in her first ever movie. What a debut!

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I’ll be replacing the “Cybill” picture with one of Jodie Whittaker. She’s a British actress who also bared her bottom in her first ever movie, Venus.

In the film, her great uncle played by Peter O’Toole names her Venus after The Rokeby Venus – a famous painting by Spanish artist Velázquez .

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He takes her to see the painting in London’s National Gallery. Later, when Jodie’s character works as an artist’s model, she recreates the pose of the Goddess of Love herself – pretty sucessfullly.

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There’s a clip on Youtube of Jodie Whittaker talking about the movie whilst standing in front of the original Velasquez painting. In a six minute interview, she manages to avoid any mention of bottoms! Talk about an elephant in the room!

I’ve also uploaded a series of screen grabs of the scene to Imageshack. Hope you like the new header anyway. It will be the fourth one I’ve used now.

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